Falling Off the Wagon: How to Bounce Back After a Sugar Slip-Up

Well, I lasted about 10 days sugar-free before caving in the face of a vegan dark chocolate truffle cake. My partner and I took my niece on a spa getaway and... we had 3 charcuterie boards, one of which was a dessert board. I could pass on the cheesecake with ease... and the poached pear... but the truffle cake? Nope. I was a goner.

But hey... it's just one blip, right? Well, 3 days later, they wanted to get DQ for themselves and I drove my niece there... and caved in the face of a Peanut Buster Parfait.

That same evening, after I dropped off the niece at the ferry... I stopped at the grocery store to get a RitterSport bar.

So... what does this tell me? Well... once the door opens a crack... you either gotta slam it shut or... the floodgates open!!

The other thing I learned... or relearned... is that it is really, really hard to maintain an eating plan (sugar-free) when you are surrounded by people who are happily munching away on sugary treats. That requires a level of self-discipline and will-power that... just... is beyond me. 

And yes... I did make it 10 days. And no... this doesn't have to derail me. Although it does feel a bit like I am derailed. I need to remind myself of "why" I am staying away from the sugar... because it is poison to my body. It generates inflammation which is toxic for Hashimoto's syndrome. I just find it really hard to remember the why when I am staring the menu in DQ and wondering... why do they both get treats and I am left to munch on almonds?

Maybe if I saw the sugary concoctions as harmfully poisonous to my body, I might have a different relationship to sugar. For example, I have never been tempted to smoke, either regular cigarettes or marijuana. Why? Because I like my brain cells and want to keep them sharp. It's glaringly obvious to me that smoking, of any sort, is seriously bad for one's health. Sooooo... no temptation there. Not even when people seem to be relaxed and having fun from smoking whatever.

Now, to just shift that mode to sugar... its effects are similar to a drug... so can I treat it the same way? See it for what it is? A substance that is harmful to my well-being? Perhaps that would work. But I'd really have to modify and work against 50+ years of conditioning which tells me that sugar is a reward for being good... or doing good things... or a treat for celebrations.

But I see the shape of the wolf in sheep's clothing... most times. Can I just keep my focus on that when faced with chocolate truffles and ice cream? Fingers crossed... 

Sugar Detox (Again!)

I'm on Day 3 of my latest Sugar Detox and it's not fun. Aside from the cravings, I also have a headache, feel lethargic and unmotivated and am distressingly moody. I just want sugar. A brownie... anything to make this go away.

I keep telling myself that it "this too shall pass" and I wonder... why? Why do I keep putting myself through this? I know why... because once I get through the sugar detox doldrums, I feel great! And as the days and weeks of me feeling great go by... I start to think... I can have a brownie here and there... And then... I am back in a full-blown sugar binge.

So, as I sit here in Starbucks... I ask myself the age old question... when will I learn this life lesson? How many times do I have to come back to this point before I finally "get it"? I would hope that this is the last time. My age, my weight, my family history, my thyroid condition... all tell me that sugar is NOT good for me. So just stop. Let the buck stop here. Let the sugar detox end in March 2023.

Since this is being posted in late October... I can include a post script to let you know how this all shook out in the end. Did I make it my last sugar detox or... am I doomed to repeat this yet again. I certainly hope not because it is quite gross. I'm at the point where I wonder if I am going through some health crisis. I know it's just sugar detox but... sometimes it feels so much more than that. My mood is in the toilet. I can barely get myself motivated to do anything. Blech. 

Here's a blurb about sugar withdrawal:

"The symptoms of sugar withdrawal include headaches, decreased energy, an inability to concentrate and mood changes. Although it’s not completely understood why these side effects occur, research shows it's likely linked to the impact sugar intake has on our brain chemistry.

Eating sugar triggers a release of different chemicals, including endorphins - which boost your mood and reduce pain - and dopamine, which is linked to pleasure, satisfaction and reward. Sugar stimulates the brain's reward system and ultimately, it makes us feel good - so we are likely to want to eat more sugary food and drinks.

These kinds of changes can lead to dependence and addiction2. Therefore, giving sugar up may trigger unwanted side effects."

Or how about this one:

"It's during this early "sugar withdrawal" stage that both mental and physical symptoms have been reported – including depression, anxiety, brain fog and cravings, alongside headaches, fatigue and dizziness. This means giving up sugar can feel unpleasant, both mentally and physically, which may make it difficult for some to stick with the diet change."

These little blurbs make me feel slightly better. I can see myself in all of these symptoms... and I just have to make it through the first week before I know I will start feeling better. So... stay the course... and remember this for next time... Sugar Detox is no fun and I really don't want to keep repeating this.

PostScript - October 26, 2023

Yeah... we all know how this sugar detox ended. Another brownie splurge! And once you have one brownie, it is a slippery slope. But as I write this, I am trying something new and different. I consulted ChatGPT (the AI) for some ideas and it actually came up with a good one that I have not tried yet... I'll blog about it in due course.

Through the Worst of the Sugar Detox Symptoms?

 The first three days of the sugar detox were the worst...

• foggy thinking
• tired/fatigued
• overheating at night
• moodiness
• emotional
• lack of motivation
• overwhelmed
• irritable and reactionary
• headache
• dizzy/lightheaded

But, as the first rays of Day 4 break over the horizon, I think I might be through the worst of it. I'm sitting in Starbucks and while I looked longingly at the chocolate brownies in the display case... I reminded myself of what I'd just endured and... I passed.

The struggle of the last few days is too fresh in my mind right now to even consider munching on a sugar-filled treat. I just wish that I could remember the struggle 2 months from now. The truth is, I seem to have short-term memory for this sort of stuff. Once something is more than a month in the past, the sharp edges tend to blur and I think... "It wasn't that bad." But it was. It is.

And so I thought I would document this... if not for posterity... then at least for me. So that I can remember how bad it was. I honestly feel like something is seriously wrong with me when I am going through the first days of the detox. I feel sooooo very unlike myself that I think I have lost my mojo... lost my brain power. It's not a pleasant feeling. I remind myself that this too shall pass but honestly... when I'm in the middle of it, I really doubt that!

These last few days, I have been trying different things to combat the sugar detox doldrums. I've been adding in some regular snacks - things like an apple with some almond butter, or an orange with some nuts. Sometimes I'll have a hard-boiled egg. I'm also going grocery shopping today, so going to get some hummus to snack on - along with some carrots, celery sticks, cukes or peppers. That mix of complex carbs and protein is so important. Giving my body food that will release energy slowly, over time, rather than an immediate gratification hit of refined sugars or even simple sugars like fructose without the protein.

I've read elsewhere that it's a good idea to keep a food diary for a while... I'm not sure that I'm up for that right now. I've got enough stuff on my plate at this point. But maybe once the worst of the sugar doldrums are done with... then I can look at that.

I know that the coming days/week are going to be hard. I might be through the worst of the sugar withdrawal symptoms but... the cravings are still there, and will come on hard and heavy in the coming weeks. If I can just remember these detox symptoms... I'm hoping to weather the storm.

It's funny... because before I stopped drinking Coke for good back in 2009, I had tried kicking the habit many times. Suffering through intense headaches for days afterwards. But, inevitably, I would start drinking it again. This time... I'm hoping that I can stay the course and finally choose my health over my cravings.

Another Sugar Detox... Amongst Other Things

Tofu

I know. I've been here before. At least 3 times in the last year. And I'm back at it again. This time with more insight and motivation. Hopefully that will lead to success.

Those who follow the ramblings of this blog will know that I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's - an auto-immune thyroid condition that leads to hypothyroidism - not enough thyroid hormone. It means I need to take a synthetic thyroid hormone to keep my thyroid levels within range. But it's been a bit of a roller coaster trying to keep the numbers within range. Which is frustrating and annoying.

Right now, I'm struggling again with low energy levels, sluggishness, achy joints and anxiety. Fun, eh? Not. I've been doing a lot of reading and researching and... I've learned that these sorts of things often start in your gut. There are some foods that are just not good for auto-immune conditions, but it's hard to pin down because it differs from one person to another. One person might be good with eggs but for the other person, it sends them into a Hashi flare.

Some practitioners recommend something called the Auto-Immune Protocol which, among other things, recommends that you avoid "suspect" foods and focus on "good" foods. So... cutting out things like gluten, soy, legumes, nuts, eggs, dairy, nightshades (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant), sugar, high-glycemic fruits. It leave a lot of greens and meat to eat. It's a bit extreme... but maybe it's time to bite the bullet.

But then... in reading the list of foods to avoid... I had a bit of an epiphany. I went back to my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) lab results and discovered something intriguing. Just to clarify, the TSH is a hormone produced by the pituitary gland when thyroid levels are too low. So when the TSH goes up... it means there isn't enough thyroid horomone. Kind of counter-intuitive.

TSH Labs

Let's take a look at my TSH labs - going from 2014 to 2023. I had always put my thyroid issue down to the stress of taking care of my Dad towards the end of his life - 2016-2019. But those labs are all happily within range. There's a bit of up and down, but it's all relatively good.

Where things start to take off is in January 2020 when my partner and I decided to get rid of meat, dairy, and eggs from our diet. We were going whole foods and plant-based. We introduced a lot more legumes into our diet as well as tofu and tempeh (both soy products).

And then... in March 2021, we both went to see a naturopath. I was actually feeling pretty good, but given our vegan diet, she decided to put me on a heavy course of Vitamin D (like 10,000 IU/day - recommended is 600-800 IU) because she thought I might be low in Vitamin D given the vegan diet. She also recommended fish oil (liquid stuff). She told me to avoid gluten but said sourdough bread was fine. 

I pigged out on sourdough bread from Cobs Bakery and... well... you see what my TSH did. Turns out Cobs Bakery doesn't do the "right" type of sourdough bread! With increasing doses of synthroid, however, my numbers came back down but then there are these weird blips where it goes up again. That was usually because I slid backwards and thought... I can have "some" gluten! And we continued on our vegan diet.

I eventually ditched the naturopath because I developed other issues - things like oral lichen planus (raw spots inside my mouth). The naturopath thought that was weird and told me to stop taking all of the supplements she had put me on. She said that when I came to her, I was basically healthy and she wondered about all the stuff she had put me on. Brilliant. Paid $$ to get put on supplements and then paid more $$ to be told to get off of them. No more naturopaths.

Personally... I thought it was the fish oil... so I stopped taking that and added salmon into my diet. And my mouth cleared up. Interesting.

Taking Charge

So here we are... my thyroid is screwed up and when I look back at the history of this... I am faced with the dietary change from a regular diet to a vegan diet. Got rid of meat and fish and added soy and legumes and lots of whole grains (most were wheat based - things like farro). If you recall from above, soy and legumes are two of the things on the "avoid" list, along with gluten. Is soy the issue? Is it just the gluten?

I don't know but I've started an experiment. We have agreed to add meat back into our diet - ethically sourced, local chickens and bison. We're already eating eggs and salmon, so we'll continue with that. We are eliminating tofu and tempeh from our diet. And sugar. Sigh. And I'm getting rigid on the gluten. No more chocolate brownies. No more Timmies bagels. Nope. Done. For 3 months. I'm writing this on June 17, so we're looking at end of September.

What will my TSH do? How will my energy levels do? I don't know but it's worth it. Right now, I'm on 100 mcg of Synthroid right now. I'm at the point where I'm tempted to increase the dosage just to feel better but... maybe these dietary changes will do the trick.

I've read enough stories about people taking charge of their dietary eating plans and seeing a reversal in their thyroid labs to know... this is possible. Will it work for me... we shall see. Small steps.

So, every time I go into Starbucks, I think... no brownie (despite it's siren call). It's not worth the rest of it. Just. Not. Worth. It. Period.

I don't feel like Writing... I feel like Chocolate!!

Nope, I don't feel like writing. It's been a crap day at work with all sorts of technical issues as we launch a new workshop registration campaign. People buying the registration and then the system eating it and not spitting out a Welcome Email... and unhappy people left, right and center.

And then a disturbing personal phone call and... seriously... I just don't feel like writing. What I feel like is chocolate!!! Specifically a double chocolate brownie from Starbucks. It's 3:00 pm and the window for brownie time has closed (at least for me - or I'll never get to sleep). But that doesn't mean I still don't want it.

I am feeling cranky and out of sorts. The day got off to a rocky start and I didn't get my 1 hour writing time before being tossed into the deep end of technical work issues. Which sucks. And here I am, trying to regroup and gather my thoughts and... it's hard. I'd be much happier, I think, if I just grabbed my office backpack and went to Starbucks... I'd do a better job of regrouping there. But that's probably not true.

Cause at this time of day, Starbucks is overrun with university and high school students and there's not a hope of getting a table next to an electrical outlet (and my laptop battery doesn't last long anymore). So I'd probably just sit there and spin my wheels and feel even worse than I do right now. So that's not a solution. Which is why I'm sitting here and trying the writing thing at home... just me and keyboard.

It's not easy... the siren call of the brownie (and Starbucks) is strong. But it really doesn't help me. Not in the least. What does help me is increasing the magnification of this browser window by 20%! Sigh... things on the screen are looking smaller and smaller. Might  be time for another visit to the optometrist to see how the old eyes are doing. I can still read things, but I find myself squinting and frowning more at the screen... which is problematic on a Zoom call, when I just look frowny angry!

Anyhow... back to the topic at hand. I know that writing will make me feel better... but writing when I'm not already feeling good can be a challenge. And I even had a topic picked out from my morning walk at 6:00 am. But writing about that topic didn't seem feasible at this point. What really needs to get written is what's going on in me right now. So here we are.

Some people think that writing is "easy" if you're a writer. It's not. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth. It's not comfortable. It is not warm and fuzzy. It's dragging out your dirty laundry for all the world to see... and then holding each piece up to the light and studying it in detail. What is going on in my head right now... ?? What am I feeling? What is going on for me?

While I know that everyone has dirty laundry, that doesn't mean it is any easier for me to drag it out and share the nitty-gritty-ness of it. Gross. Emotions. Feelings. Grumpiness. Moodiness. Ick.

But if we all have it, surely it would be beneficial to share it... to share what is going on, so that others don't feel that they are all alone with their filthy laundry. Still doesn't make it easier to write about.

I guess the burning question is... why do I want a sugary, fatty treat that is crammed with wheat gluten (bad for my thyroid condition)? What is the brownie actually going to do? For about 1 minute, it will taste absolutely delicious and then... poof... it will be gone and I all I will taste is the bitterness of regret and the anger of failure. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? And yet... that is what I am craving right now.

The emotions are too uncomfortable - frustration, anger, sadness, fear, irritation, uncertainty - and rather than sit in that... I would rather go and have the brownie. Run from the emotions? Distract myself from the emotions... if only for a minute? Makes zero sense.

I wish I could figure it out. It's not like I'm craving a banana or an apple or a handful of nuts? Or a walk or a drink of water. Although I do have my water bottle close at hand and am sipping at it as I write this. Trying to distract myself from the brownie.

Maybe what I really need is a good cry. Maybe the brownie is just trying to stuff sweet on top of those uncomfortable emotions that want to be expressed? Maybe. Or maybe I need to rage and growl in anger at the situation I find myself in. Perhaps the craving for the food is the brain trying to stuff all those emotions down... "let's just force feed it some sweets". Because emotions are dangerous you know.

It's not safe to express many emotions (other than joy) out in the world. Heck, we aren't really trained in how to express our emotions. We complain about people, places and things, but we don't really get to the heart of the emotion. We swallow the angry words. We stuff down the tears. We stiffen our backs in the face of fear. Don't show it... don't feel it. Sounds like a Disney film... Frozen and the song "Let it Go"...

Don't let them in. Don't let them see.... Conceal... don't feel. Don't let them know.

And the truth is, life is messy. Things aren't always smooth and calm and peaceful. It is so easy to get blown off course. To get thrown off kilter. The question is... how to get back on course. How to get back on kilter...  back on track?

How to clear the space? Write about it? Express it? Connect with something that grounds us, roots us, reminds us who we are? Put things into perspective?

Maybe step away from the computer and the phone and reconnect with the analogue world. Go for a walk... do something physical and with my hands. Declutter some more? Something... and the only way to know what is going to help is to try a few things... and see what sticks and what doesn't. See what helps and what throws me further off course. I'm pretty sure a brownie, delicious as it is, would throw me further off course! Sad to say... but it is truth! Ugh!

Fighting the Sugar Demon

Coke

Sugar... such an innocuous word. But sooo dangerous.

I've known for a while that sugar is my kryptonite, my nemesis... the thing that is, for me, the hardest to kick to the curb. And whenever I think I've vanquished sugar, it simply shape shifts and morphs into some other form that sneaks in under the radar. Kind of like whack-a-mole.

For years, I drank quite a bit of Coke. I started in university (back in the 80s) and only really overcame that addiction on 7 July 2009, when I drank my last can. Twenty-five years of addiction done! Hooray!!!

Wait... not so fast. Because sugar wasn't done with me yet... my new friend was now Starbucks hot chocolate. I mean... if you're going to go to Starbucks and sit there and use their wifi for hours, you need to buy something, right? And for me, it was hot chocolate... 

Starbucks hot chocolate

That started in the fall of 2009 and continued until the spring of 2019 when I drank my last hot chocolate (from Starbucks or anywhere). Hooray!!

I've now been hot chocolate free for over 850 days. Not that anyone's counting... And the trick, for me, in ending my hot chocolate addiction was to make an agreement with my partner that... if I had a hot chocolate, I would have to pay a $10 penalty to her! Right then... done with hot chocolate!

Wait... not so fast. Last summer, with the pandemic raging and Starbucks closed to visitors... I developed the habit of going for a hike on Saturdays and Sundays (a good thing) and then grabbing a Starbucks Double Fudge Chocolate Brownie to go (warmed up too, please). I'd take it to the park, sit by the pond, and eat it off of my camping plate (and camping fork), which I carried around in my day pack for just such an occasion. It started out as one brownie per weekend and then morphed into two brownies per weekend. And over the winter... it continued... even though I was no longer hiking! My new sugar addiction was born.

Starbucks brownie

On top of that... as this long gloomy winter of pandemic restrictions dragged on, my partner and I went down Junk Food Alley and started consuming copious amounts of chips and chocolate... with the occasional bag of Cheezies thrown in. My weight began to rise and I knew it was not a good idea... but when sugar has its teeth and claws into you... it's a bit of a beast.

Enter my new diagnosis of hypothyroidism... due to Hashimoto's thyroiditis... which is an auto-immune condition that attacks the thyroid. Charming. The auto-immune bit is the tricky part... trying to get a handle on that. There are a whole host of things that contribute to it... let's start with alcohol, caffeine, sugar and gluten. Just to name the Big 4.

Sigh... that includes beer... coffee... (and hot chocolate)... all yummy sugary treats and... things like bread, pizza dough, and... da-da-daaaaa... brownies. Actually... chocolate brownies tick three of those boxes. All I'd need was to add some rum extract to the brownie and it would hit all four.

Starbucks Gold Card

Sooo... caffeine is easy... don't drink coffee. Not really a tea drinker either so... check that one off the list. Done!

Alcohol... I do like a beer on the weekends... but I stopped three weekends ago and haven't looked back. Done!

Sugar... bugger. It's one thing to know, intellectually that sugar causes inflammation in the body and is NOT good for Hashimoto's sufferers... but putting that into practice has been a bit of a problem.

Here's what I've come up with, my latest Go Big or Go Home strategy... I've removed the Starbucks app from my phone so I can't use it to pay for brownies. And... I've given my partner my Starbucks rewards card so I can't get any rewards (or use them) if I pass by a Starbucks. It's kind of a variation on the "put your credit card in ice if you're dealing with credit card debt". Cause the thing is... you get rewards for buying things at Starbucks and I'm such a cheapskate that I won't stop there if I can't use the app or my card. Sooo... we'll see how this goes. So far, so good... as of this writing, I am two days brownie free. Sigh... a long road ahead but I'm hoping that eliminating this form of sugar... and being wary of all other forms... will help me get a handle on this auto immune nightmare.

Wish me luck!

When the Option of Eating a Healthy Diet becomes a Necessity

Thyroid - Mayo Clinic

Well, it's official. Getting old sucks! Sigh.

I went to get some routine lab work done in March and my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) levels were a bit high but my T3 and T4 levels were still good. Some follow-up tests revealed that my Thyroperoxidase Ab levels are elevated. All of that basically means that I am likely heading for hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) due to an auto-immune disorder called Hashimoto's Disease. 

Bugger.

This is not all that surprising. My mother has Grave's Disease (an auto immune disorder that leads to hyperthyroidism - an overactive thyroid). I have two first cousins who have Hashimoto's Disease (both on my maternal side). My grandmother and one of her sisters also had thyroid issues. So, I've been getting my TSH levels checked regularly for several years and they've always been good. But no more.

Hypothyroidism symptoms can include: loss of appetite, lack of concentration, difficulty sleeping, reduced motivation, mood swings, a short temper, depression and excessive stress. And yes, I'm ticking a bunch of those boxes already. I was putting it down to the pandemic but... perhaps there is more going on than just the pandemic blues and blahs.

My doctor wanted to put me on synthetic thyroid meds but I wanted to hold off and see a naturopath first. She's already got me eating two Brazil nuts a day (Selenium), making sure I get enough iodine (iodized table salt or seaweed nibbles), Omega 3 oils (algae oil) and a few other things. I'm sure that there's more that the naturopath is going to recommend, now that we've got the Thyroperoxidase Ab results...

In the meantime, I'm going to be picking the brains of my cousins as to what I can do to slow the progression. And... doing a tonne of research on the internet.

As it turns out, diet plays a huge role in controlling Hashimoto flare-ups. Things like gluten, sugar, dairy and processed/refined foods should be eliminated. That includes chocolate.

***crickets chirping***

Noooo... not chocolate! Yup, chocolate... sigh. I know that my cousins are on a pretty strict diet - no gluten and no dairy. But I missed the memo on sugar. And processed/refined foods.

Luckily, our mostly whole food, plant based diet aligns quite nicely with what dietitians recommend for Hashimoto sufferers... Still... some people go for a gluten free diet (no wheat, rye, barley). Others go for a grain free diet (no oats or buckwheat or amaranth or millet). Some go dairy free. Some go sugar free. Some go Paleo.

Others opt instead to focus on eating as healthy and nutrient dense of a diet as possible:

• leafy greens, such as kale and spinach
• fatty fish, including salmon
• a variety of coloured vegetables, such as brussel sprouts, broccoli, carrots, beets, and red, yellow, and orange peppers
• fruits, including berries, apples, and bananas
• healthful fats, including avocado and walnuts
• lean proteins, including tofu, eggs, nuts, beans, and fish
• fibrous foods, including beans and legumes
  

Healthy vegetables
(Image by congerdesign from Pixabay)

We're holding to that pretty closely, except for the fish and eggs. We also eat a variety of whole grains sooo.. .time will tell if I get to keep those in my diet or not. Right now, I'm more concerned about the sugar. We've been on a bit of a junk food kick lately (chocolate and chips and cookies) which (a) has not done much for my waistline reduction project and (b) does not adhere to our "whole foods" plan. But maybe this thyroid stuff is just the sort of thing that will encourage me to kick refined sugars and processed foods to the curb for good.

In the News - UK does an About-Face on Regulating Junk Food Advertising

You heard about Boris Johnson, right? Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and staunch opponent of the "nanny" state. This is the same guy who criticized levies on foods high in salt, fat and sugar, stating that he preferred a libertarian non-interventionist approach. Basically... if you choose to eat junk food, then that's your choice, and you get to reap the consequences. Just don't expect the "nanny" state to bail you out. Right... that guy...

Well... since his bout with Covid-19, he's come to realize a few things. He admits now that being obese put him at greater risk of Covid-19 complications, and landed him in the ICU. More and more studies are confirming that obesity, and its associated comorbidities (diabetes, cardiovascular illness, etc) put individuals at a much higher risk of death due to Covid-19. A recent study in the UK concluded that being obese increases your chances of death from Covid-19 by 40%. That's no small deal.

Check out the check-out candy...
Possibly a thing of the past in the UK

In light of his own personal experience, Johnson has made a few changes. He's taken up running and biking and is making a concerted effort to watch what he eats. On a much larger front, he has also launched a government campaign aimed at helping Brits combat the obesity epidemic. I guess Johnson has amended his libertarian views after realizing that it's hard for people to "choose" to eat healthy when they are being bombarded with junk food advertising day and night. As the government campaign says: "It’s hard to make the healthy choice if you don’t know what’s in the food you are eating. That is why we want to make sure that our labeling of products in store and in cafes and coffee shops helps us to make healthier choices."

The campaign has junk food squarely in its sights:

• banning ads for high fat, high salt and high sugar products (HFSS) on TV and online before 9 pm - I presume this is aimed at kids
• mandating calorie labeling in restaurants, cafes and takeaways - the idea being that if you know that your choco mocca americano latte has 600 calories, you will make a better choice (chai tea is my friend)
• ending the promotion of high fat, high sugar and high salt products in-store and online - this sounded quite similar to the first point but... what it really means is limiting the placement of HFSS products in prominent locations intended to encourage purchasing, both online and in physical stores - i.e. no more chocolate bars and junk food at the check-out tills!
  
• ditching Buy One, Get One free promotions on HFSS products
• a national campaign to help people lose weight and eat more healthily after the "wake-up call" of coronavirus
• looking at having hidden "liquid calories" listed on alcoholic drinks
  
• a consultation on whether to stop fast food adverts online altogether
• reviewing traffic light labeling on food and drinks sold in shops
• a consultation on making calorie labeling on alcohol drinks mandatory
• greater incentives for doctors to tackle excess weight, including the use of apps and exercise-on-referral

All of this is super great news. It's just kind of sad that it only came about because the leader of a First World country got sick with Covid-19. The scientific evidence has always been there... and yet... nothing was ever done... until now. On top of that, there is growing scientific evidence that eating animal products is also a huge contributor to obesity and its associated comorbidities. But there's not mention of that... I guess one battle at a time. If the UK can pull this off, it would be amazing... particularly given that 70% of UK males and 60% of UK females are obese. Makes me wonder what it will take to get such fast action from the Canadian government?

My Struggle with Addiction

Every morning, I wake up and I feel it. The craving. And I think... maybe I could have just one. That's it... just one. That's not so bad, is it? The thing is... I've been around the block often enough to have learned a thing or two about my addiction. There ain't no middle ground. It's either all or nothing. When it comes to this drug... I fall in the Abstainer camp rather than the Moderator camp. What's the drug? A luscious white powder... chemical formula... C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁... commonly known as sugar.

Pure powdered refined sugar

Yep... I'm a tried and true sugar addict and my preferred method of delivery is liquid sugar. Although... in a pinch, I won't say "no" to a chocolate fudge brownie... or an Eat-More bar.

Growing up, I don't remember being a massive sugar monster, although my Mom might have different recollections.

Oh... wait... now that I think on it.... **cough**

I do recall sneaking into Mom's baking cupboard when she wasn't around and pilfering squares of baking chocolate. Even the semi-sweet stuff. Oops, forgot about that.

So maybe there was some writing on the wall back then.

Coke - the Real Thing

Things really took off when I went to university. I developed a taste for Coke (the drink... not the other stuff). I'd have a Coke in the afternoon after classes... There's nothing like that moment when you crack the tab on a can of Coke and smell that first heady rush of released air. Oh... and the first sip... priceless! Sooo soothing and relaxing.

But... slowly, over time, my first sip of Coke would get earlier and earlier in the day. And then I'd end up having two Cokes a day... and it would get earlier still. Soon enough, I was having three or four cans of Coke a day, starting at 8:30 am.

Every once in a while, I'd tell myself to get a grip and I would go cold turkey. I'd suffer through the headaches (double whammy of sugar/caffeine withdrawal) for five days and then I'd be good for a few weeks.

Inevitably, I would think... "I'll just have one this afternoon". And the cycle would begin anew. Rinse and repeat... for years. I knew that Coke was bad for me and I tried to quit numerous times... but it always worked its way back under my skin. "I'll just have one."

And then, miracle of miracles... on 7 July 2009, I went cold turkey again. This time it stuck. A week went by... then two weeks... a month... two months and... slowly the craving abated. I could walk by a vending machine and not twitch with desire. I had kicked the Coke habit! I was pretty proud of myself.

Starbucks Hot Chocolate - pure bliss
(more on disposal cups in
another blog post)

But... yep, there's always a but... I had formed a new habit. I had moved to Calgary in the spring of 2019 and transitioned to a new work-from-home job. I began riding my bike around the Glenmore Reservoir and discovered a Starbucks at the half-way point. I'd pack my laptop into my backpack, cycle to the Starbucks and get a bunch of work done. These little adventures ticked a few boxes: get some exercise... get out of the house... have a change of scenery. Win-win-win!

There was just a tiny, little hiccup. I felt guilty just sitting there, using Starbucks wi-fi and not buying anything... I needed to find a drink. Never having developed a taste for coffee (ewww) or tea (ick)... I settled on hot chocolate. Not just any chocolate, a Grande Hot Chocolate with whipped cream and mocha drizzle. Oh... yum...

My little sugar-addicted synapses were dancing a happy jig and my new form of sugar addiction was born. Oh yes, I'd try to quit hot chocolate every once in a while and... well... same story as with the Coke. Not much success. Although I never did get up to three hot chocolates a day... two was my worst!

Dec/Jan 2017/18 attempts to kick
hot chocolate (check marks good,
red x's are bad)

My fasting blood sugar levels started to creep up... and I tried to get a grip, but I was still flirting with the pre-diabetic danger zone. Time and again... I'd go cold turkey... or try moderation - "I'll only have 3 hot chocolates/week"... but nothing worked.

The longest I made it was 21 days and then I caved. These collapses of intention and will-power were usually associated with some stressful event in my life. Things would get stressy... and I needed comfort or a reward. I'd rush off to Starbucks for a hit of hot chocolate. It was soothing... it was calming... at least for an hour or so.

The other thing that I noticed was... hot chocolate ain't cheap. Coke is a cheap drug ($0.11/100 ml)... hot chocolate not so much ($1.00/100 ml). Try spending $3.65/day for at least 20 days a month and... that's almost $80/mo or almost $1000/yr. Not to mention the price of hot chocolate kept going up!

Oh, and let's not even talk about calories. Coke has a miniscule 140 calories/can (355 ml). Starbucks hot chocolate clocks in at 400 calories/grande cup (473 ml). I really hadn't improved things when I quit Coke and upgraded to hot chocolate! Although... when you consider that I used to get up to 3 cans of Coke a day... 140x3 = 420 calories/day... not that far off from the hot chocolate. And... in many ways... I HAD reduced my sugar consumption... 43 g of sugar in one grande hot chocolate... versus 39 g of sugar in ONE can of Coke. Three cans of Coke would be an insane amount of sugar...

Anyhow... before I try to justify hot chocolate as being "better" than Coke... back to my story. The cost of Starbucks hot chocolate got me thinking on ways to reduce my overhead. I tried buying the mix-your-own packets of Starbucks hot chocolate from the grocery store... and having them at home. But, because it was so convenient... I'd sometimes end up having two mugs a day. Not a solution. I tried making my own hot chocolate using cocoa powder, milk and sugar. At least I could moderate the amount of sugar, 1 tbsp instead of 2 tbsp in each mug. But... that was still a lot of sugar. I was seemingly powerless in the grip of sugar... until last February.

Hot Chocolate's D-Day
On 3 February 2019, my father passed away in a long-term care home. It was a stressful, grief-laden time. Two weeks later, after visiting Starbucks and having a hot chocolate... I said "Enough is enough." I had been reading about different ways to alter ingrained habits and came across the idea of a reverse-reward... i.e. a penalty system. You make a commitment to change a habit and every time you do not honour that commitment, you have to pay a penalty that hurts. Like donating to the political party that you hate. That wasn't going to work for me as I wasn't that passionate about politics but... I liked the idea of a penalty.

The implacable reality of cold hard cash

I sat down with my partner and explained my plan. Every time I had a hot chocolate, I would have to put $5 into a penalty fund. She thought it was a good idea and upped the ante. "Fine, but that money goes to me. And that's only for the first hot chocolate. After that, the penalty doubles to $10... and after that, it doubles again to $20." Ooooohhhh... that's wicked! I put the $5 into the penalty pot that day, to cover the hot chocolate I'd had that morning. Game on.

We also started tracking my progress on the wall calendar. For every successful hot-chocolate-free day, I got a little animal sticker on that day (nod to the badges of www.750words.com). I started off with ladybug stickers and, after 30 days, progressed to owl stickers. After 60 days I got cat stickers... and at 100 days I graduated to teddy bear stickers. My tracking app says I have 353 days under my belt. Only 12 days to go...

The start of my Hot Chocolate Free
odyssey (check marks are good!)

Was it easy? Heck, NO! It's been one of the hardest things I've ever done - even harder than the Coke addiction. Once I made it past my previous record of 21 days hot-chocolate-free, though, I felt a bit more confident. It also got slightly easier after 60 days. I had some momentum and didn't want to break the chain (nod to Jerry Seinfeld). But there were many days where the only thing that held me in check was that looming $10 penalty. Truth is... I still crave hot chocolate. I'm sitting here in Starbucks right now, sipping a chai tea with milk (just a tea... not a chai tea latte). It is... palatable... but that's about it. I've tried every tea in their arsenal and... this one is the best of a bad lot... sigh.

Sooo... remember the sugar/grains detox my partner and I started in September 2019? Well... I am so glad I got the hot chocolate addiction handled months earlier. My fasting blood sugar levels are OK... and I feel better without all that sugar coursing through my system. I even lost a bit of weight after the hot chocolate taps were turned off. Best news of all... I didn't replace that liquid sugar supply with another one. I'm not a root beer addict... or a caramel macchiato addict. I don't dump packets and sugar/sweetener into my tea. I do, however, notice a weakness for chocolate... particularly if it is in the house. So... I try not to keep it in the house.

As I come up to my one year anniversary of being Hot Chocolate Free... I find myself having a little internal debate. "Maybe I could just have one on the anniversary date. Just one. And then I could start the abstinence anew." It's interesting to observe this conversation going on in my head, because it never happened with Coke. I think the hot chocolate has deeper roots... and it is hanging on for dear life...

As I said... I've learned a few things in my life... moderation for my sugar addiction does NOT work. I need to go cold turkey and abstain completely. But that's only for sugar... I have no problem moderating alcohol intake and can have a beer or not... no problem. But sugar... it's got me in its grip.

Every day, therefore, is a choice. Sometimes every hour! Just one small step towards health. And 353 daily small steps later... I've come a long way. Will I cave and have a hot chocolate on February 18? Stay tuned...

I'm kind of curious though... how have other people altered deeply ingrained habits? How did you give up smoking or sugar or alcohol or video games? What worked for you?

P.S.
I'll also look at the environmental impact of sugar plantations in a future blog post...

Suffice to say, reducing our sugar consumption would definitely be better for our health as well as that of the planet!