The Art of Prioritization: Differentiating 'Nice to' from 'Need to'

We have a very large rhubarb plant that has a LOT of juicy, red stalks that are just begging to be harvested. But as the days go by... "make rhubarb relish" keeps getting bumped to the end of the line. There's too much other stuff going on.

But as the days go by, I start to get a bit panicky... "need to" get the rhubarb picked and chopped and make rhubarb relish! But then... I had a bit of an epiphany...

Why do I "need to" make rhubarb relish?

Who says I "need to"???

That made me pause for quite a while. And think. And mull things over. Because, really, making rhubarb relish is not a "need to". It is a "nice to". It would be "nice to" make rhubarb relish. It's not like we are selling it and our lives depended on it. There is no one standing over me demanding that I make rhubarb relish, "or else".

So where does it go from being a "nice to" thing... into a "need to" thing? Here are some of the factors at play.

1. Time Limited

Rhubarb season is limited. Pick it early and it is sweeter and not as tough. I always thought you had to pick it before it flowered but... that's an old wives' tale. You can just cut the flower stalk off. So there is a tiny bit of a time constraint. If I want to make rhubarb relish, then it has to be done soonish. But do I want to make rhubarb relish?

2. Friends Love it

Friends of ours LOVE the rhubarb relish that we make. We give them little jars of it every time they visit. And our supply is running low. So it is time to make more. But again, they are not standing over us demanding rhubarb relish. It is "nice to" give them rhubarb relish but if we are out... then we are out.

3. It's a Waste

Leaving the rhubarb relish stalks on the plant seems like... a waste. We are letting food go to waste. And somewhere along the way I learned that letting food go to waste is "bad". It's a sin. Although I don't remember seeing "food" in the list of deadly sins. Although it could probably be shoe-horned into gluttony or greed.

4. I had Plans

I was going to use the rhubarb-making pics for our Airbnb's social media campaign. No pics... no post. But it's only 1 post. Not the end of the world, right? But I had plans!!! And I hate it when plans change.

5. It's a Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

As in... "It would be nice to make it..." morphs into... "I could make it..." so that translates into... "I should make it"... which leads to... "I need to make it"...

It's Bigger than Rhubarb

While this might seem like a pretty piddly thing... it's rhubarb for pete's sake...

But it's not just about the rhubarb. Because this happens in other areas of my life as well. Where I decided that something would be "nice to" do... Somewhere along the way, these "nice to" things get pressurized. I only have so much time. I only have so much energy. I can't do it all. But as time and energy fritter away... the pressure to get these things done increases. Or... I could just let them go. I don't need to make rhubarb relish. I could just let it go. I could say. "I really wanted to make it. But things change. And, right now, I don't want to make it anymore."

Because there are a LOT of things in life that are "nice to's". So many, many things. And some of them become "need to's"... but they can't ALL become "need to's". There is a finite limit to how much time and energy I have to devote to things. Saying "yes" to this thing means I have to say "no" to these other things.

So, rather than making rhubarb relish this year... I need to procrastinate on it (good procrastination) and bump it into next year. I made different choices this year as to what to do with my time. I didn't pick rhubarb. I was away part of the time. I did broombusting for another part of the time. Those choices are not wrong or bad. And I need to keep reminding myself... I can't do it all. I can't visit my Mom, do broombusting AND handle rhubarb. And I don't have to. Don't need to.

Sometimes I just have to say "no".

Embracing Procrastination: Why It's Not Always a Bad Thing

Zen Garden (Image by 18121281 from Pixabay

"Hello, my name's Gigi and I'm a Procrasinator".

Seriously... if there was a PA group (Procrastinator's Anonymous), I'd be a card-carrying member for life. I have always held procrastination as a bad thing... or BAD thing.

So much to do, so little time... and I'm scrolling the news on my phone avoiding my to-do list. WTH??? Why am I procrastinating again?? I should have this handled by now?

But I procrastinate. All the time.

And then it came to me... procrastination is NOT a bad thing. It is necessary. We can' escape it. We need to embrace it. We need to make friends with procrastination and see it as a valuable tool in our Life Toolbox.

Ready? Ok... here we go. Let me lay it out.

Time is a Limited Resource

We only have 24 hours in a day. Every single one of us. And out of that, we need to sleep 8 hours (give or take). Which leaves 16 hours to do everything that we need to do in life. That is not a lot of time. So we need to make choices on what we are going to do in any given day. We can't make more time. The only thing we have control over is what we try to squeeze in a day.

We Can't Do it ALL

We can't. Given that time is limited, and energy as well, we can't do it all. It is Impossible. It is physically impossible to go to work for 8 hrs, walk the dog for 2 hrs, watch the kids in the school play for 2 hrs, cook meals for 2 hrs, work on taxes for 2 hrs, clean the Airbnb for 3 hrs, run errands for 2 hrs and work in the garden for 2 hrs... all in the same day. Do the math. It's not possible. Oh sure, you can burn the sleep candle at both ends but for how long?

On some days, my Amazing Marvin to-do system tells me I have 25 hours of tasks scheduled for that day. Um. Let's talk about overwhelm!

Work Faster, Longer, Better is Not a Solution

I think that if I could just work faster, work longer, or work better, more efficiently, that I can get everything done on my to-do list. Society is speeding up, everything is getting faster and faster. There is always more to do. How come everybody else seems able to do more with the same amount of time? What are their secrets? I need to find out! Surely there is a key somewhere that if I just new what it was and where it fit... my life would magically clear up and all would be ease and flow.

More is not always Better. Sometimes Less is More

We can have too much of a good thing. We can volunteer too much. We can take on too much. We can think that we can do more, and more and more but... always we run up against time and energy constraints and the Rule of Life... We can't do it All. Sometimes doing less is... more. 

Procrastination is the Solution

As I said... I have always seen procrastination as a bad thing. But like all things in life, it has a good side and a bad side. Procrastination is not necessarily good or bad, rather it is how we use it. An ax is not good or bad... it's how we use it. Procrastination is just a tool...

And if I use it carelessly, without thought or focus or attention, then I just drift through life, scrolling the news sites and avoiding the problems in my life that just seem too overwhelming. Not today. Tomorrow. I can't deal with this right now. I need chocolate. I need a movie.

But procrastination used mindfully, strategically, can be a very good thing. I only have 8 hours to get stuff done today. What are my priorities. What tasks am I going to focus on. What do I need to defer? Oooohhh... see... good procrastination has a new name... Defer. Or maybe Postpone. A rose by any other name...

I can't get everything I want to get done.... done in one day. I have to defer things, postpone, procrastinate. I have to choose what I am going to work on and say... these things are a "yes" and these things are a "no". For now. For today.

Rather than fighting procrastination, what if I embraced it and used it wisely? Might change things... dramatically.