Breaking Free of a Rut

I love routines.

Routines love me right back.

I love not having to think about what I'm doing next. There's a comfort and a security in doing the same thing day after day. Get up, get dressed, brush teeth, comb hair, pack bag, head off to the coffee shop, work on stuff, head home, have breakfast. It's a simple routine, but I don't have to waste brain power overthinking things. And that makes it easier. No effort. No dithering. Just follow the routine.

And yet... as the years go by... things get... well... boring. We go to the same restaurants. We order the same things (beef dip, please!). We see the same people. Hike the same routes on the same trails. Every day starts to look like the last, and the days blur together and... well... it's boring.

There are days I can almost run the whole thing on autopilot. Same parking spot. Same order. Same table, if it's free. I know what I'm going to say before I even open my mouth. I know what the barista is going to ask. There’s something efficient about it… and something just a little bit numbing. But the idea of doing something different just feels like too much.

I read something the other month that got me thinking. Why is it that when we are young, time seems to crawl by? It takes forever to go from 5 years old to 10 years old. Yet, when we are in our 50s and beyond, five years can pass in the blink of an eye. Not to mention a whole week, or day, or afternoon. "Where does the time go?" we say, perplexed by it all. Has time sped up? Have we slowed down?

And yet... when we go on a two-night getaway to Vancouver, or Cumberland, or Victoria, we come back amazed at how those two days expanded and felt like a week. We were only gone two nights, and yet it felt longer.

And there is the rub... "it felt like"... time is subjective. When every day looks like the one before it—and the one after—time feels like it’s passing quickly. There’s nothing to differentiate the days. But when we go away, even for a day or two, we have new experiences. We stay somewhere different, eat somewhere new, hike new trails, visit new shops. All of those “new” experiences slow time down and make it feel like it’s passing more slowly.

So while the same old, same old is good for conserving brain energy... it also makes time speed up. And new, novel experiences slow it down.

All this leads to... 2026. I had a milestone birthday a few months ago—one that made me stop and think. Do I want to keep doing the same old, same old? Or do I want to try something different?

I had read a book a few years ago called 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life. The author, realizing at the age of 50 that she was on the downward slope of life, committed to doing 50 new things—significant, at least to her. That book stuck with me, and I started to think... what would I put on a list like that?

And so when this last birthday came around... I decided to bite the bullet and do 60 new things in 2026. Whatever that might look like for me. Step out of my comfort zone. Go to different places. Hike different trails. Visit new restaurants.

Because while I love routine... I also find it ties me down.

It stifles me.

But I can change that... one small step at a time.

How do you Bookend Your Day?

I'm in the middle of a disheveled week. There's a workshop sucking up 4 hours of my morning which is basically the whole morning - from 7 am to 11 am. The afternoon sucks up more time related to the workshop... with the end result that I'm spending 6-7 hours of my day working on this contract. Normally... I do maybe 1-2 hours a day. Hence the dishevelment of this week!

Given all that is going on, I am handling it remarkably well. And that's not must me thinking that... that's my partner commenting on it as well! Despite the fact that my usual morning routine is a bit out the window... I'm not blogging, journaling is hit or miss, and let's not even talk about my morning walk... However, I am managing to keep some of the key pieces in place - like meditation, cat cuddling (very important) and a healthy breakfast.

And in the evenings, I am still doing my journaling and reading a book. Still finishing eating by 6:00 (ish) and limiting my time on the computer screens... even though I still have to do a final sweep of workshop related stuff at 8 pm. 

All in all... not doing too badly. As we were talking, it came to me that... as long as my morning and evening routines are remaining fairly intact, the rest of the day flows not too badly. Yes, there are ups and downs and disruptions but... I'm handling it better than I have in the past. It's like my morning and evening routines are bookends to my days.

Some days... I probably wouldn't miss a bookend, or even both of them... because the day is like a bunch of hardcovers... they can stand up on their own for a while. Day after day... likely not. But for just this day... I can manage without a bookend.

Other days however... I'm trying to corral a bunch of floppy softcovers and... geez... without both bookends, the day just ends up falling apart. Pull those bookends away and it's a right-old mess!

The thing is... I really don't know what the day is going to look like, so it's important for me to tend my bookends. I need to pay attention to my morning routine... and if I can't go for a walk, at least I could puzzle for a bit instead. I can make these little adjustments and still find time for me, even in a hectic morning. What I'm realizing is that I can seize those small moments and actually get a fair bit done. This morning... I didn't journal or blog... but I did work on another personal writing project, and that felt really good.

I also can't neglect my evening routines. Even though the day is done... the evening routine gives me a chance to decompress... to journal a bit and debrief. To play a game with my partner (and lose!). To read a book, even just a few pages. All of this calms me and prepares me for the next day. It allows me to clear the space so that I'm not carrying unresolved stuff into the next day.

What I'm also realizing is that my morning bookend has a bunch of moving parts. Depending on the day of the week, I might do weights... or I might go for a walk. Or I might work on one of these blogs. Or maybe I'll work on my other writing project. Perhaps I'll go for a walk... or save that for later. It's much easier on me when I have a set routine... first do this, then do this, then do this. That's part of what makes habit stacking so effective. I'm finding it harder with all of these mobile options. It's very easy for me to forget some key parts, especially if I start off the day doing something different... like working on a puzzle first thing. I really need to focus to connect with... what to do next.

A flexible routine is an oxymoron to me... routine is something set and solid. It's not flexible. And for something to be flexible... that implies that there is a lot of room for variability... totally not routine! So I am having to wrap my head around the idea of marrying these two contrary concepts into a united whole. Is there such an offspring?? I guess I might need to alter my vision of routine... perhaps it is not "rigid" or "structured"?

Or perhaps... rather than seeing my morning routine as a solid block... I need to see it as series of smaller pieces, that can be combined into different shapes. Kind of like Lego blocks. Some pieces are non-negotiable... like stretching and meditating... and journaling... but other than that, I can grab different pieces and combine as I choose... in the timeline that I choose.

Maybe... I will have to mull this over a bit more. In the meantime... I will work on hanging onto my daily bookends! They are small steps... but without them, my days would be a bit of a mess!