Falling Off the Routine Bandwagon

I was off in Vancouver for a few days and my well-honed routine went out the window... no meditation or stretching in the morning was the first to go. I did journaling on one day and then it fell apart on the second day. My plan to walk 10,000 steps each day also didn't happen. My evening journal page also evaporated. Sigh.

That's the thing when you travel. You are out of your familiar milieu... you are away from your well-worn routine and... it's hard, really hard to keep things going. I try... but it's all different. It's like I need a different routine for a different environment, which probably makes sense but is something for which I didn't plan or prepare!!

It would take a it of effort given that I am staying at my sister's house and working on their timetable. They aren't up early and it's not a house in which I could cook my breakfast without disturbing someone's slumbers. At least not at 5:30 in the morning... Even as I'm tying this at 7:05 am... I realize I didn't take my Synthroid this morning! Ugh...

I'm not sure what a routine would look like when I'm traveling. And it seems like a lot of work to come up with a plan that I only need every once in a while, and only for a few days at at time. I know that when I get home today, I will slip back into my familiar routine and all will be well.

Perhaps if I was going on a longer trip... then it might make sense to devote some time and thought to what a morning routine might look like.

The one thing that has worked on this trip is... I get up early and I walk to the nearby Starbucks and sit there for several hours. Yesterday, I did do my morning journaling there, and I wrote one of these blogs. So that all worked. But this morning... I am heading back on the ferry, so the bus disrupted the flow of my early morning pattern. Even though I'm at a Starbucks near the ferry terminal, the journaling has taken a back seat. Although... kudos to me, I am writing a blog!

What I really needed on both days, however, was some food to take with me. Because I get hungry in the morning, and if I'm sitting at Starbucks for 3 hours... the siren call of the chocolate brownie becomes too much to resist. And while sometimes my sister has packable food options... not this time. So it would require me to go to the grocery store and get a few things to tide me over. Which all seems like too much effort for a 2 day visit. And so I cut corners and shave a few things off my routine.

Perhaps that is what is required... just cutting myself some slack when my habit doesn't follow its usual groove... or doesn't transfer well to another environment. It's just for a couple of days... and I can get back in the flow tomorrow. More or less... I hope!

In the meantime... what might a new habit ritual look like while staying at my sister's place? Just so I'm well-prepared for next time!

• get out of bed and take my synthroid
• get dressed and go upstairs for bathroom stuff
• do my 5 min meditation/stretching in the family room
• grab & go snack for Starbucks (the fridge usually has fruit & nuts - prep the night before)
• walk to Starbucks
• journal 2 pages
• write a blog
• and other stuff!

I know myself... and if I have it written down and mapped out in my head, then I've reduced the friction of some of these. I have thought through where I can do my morning stretches and meditation. Because if I haven't figured it out beforehand... it's not going to happen as I stand and wonder... where should I do it? Bedroom? Family room?

It's these small steps in planning and preparation that I hope will make a difference for next time!

Planning and Preparation is 90% of the Battle

I'm heading over to Vancouver today on the ferry. It'll be about 1 hour and 40 minutes and I try to use that time wisely because... there is NO wifi on the ferries!!

Now, in the past, that has really mucked with my plans for working at one of the business stations on the ferry. They have the electrical outlet. They have the desk space. They just can't get reliable wifi out on the open water. Which sucks.

Although it does give me an opportunity to do some planning and preparation. I make sure that I have some Word documents all synchronized in Dropbox, so I can open them on the laptop and work away on them. I know that they will resynchronize the next time I connect on a wifi network. Or I'll bring a book (real or e-book) to read. Or I'll bring some actual paperwork (real paper) to work through, maybe a chapter that I'm reading and editing.

Planning for a Wifi Dead Zone

Today, I had the bright idea of bringing the DVD on the Camino that I picked up from the local library a few days ago. My older laptop does have a DVD reader, so I could sit and watch the DVD while sailing the open seas. Excellent idea! I'm also bringing a real book just to cover all eventualities. And, of course, I have e-books that are available via my smartphone.

Planned and Prepped!!! It's half the battle! Or is it? Perhaps it's actually 90% of the battle? Because if I have planned and prepped... then I've parked myself downhill on a very steep slope and it's really super easy to get started. And I know what happens when I don't plan and prep... I spin my wheels on the ferry and waste a lot of time and kick myself for not thinking ahead! Soo... I am well-prepped for my NO wifi voyage...

Mobile Hotspot!

And then... it struck me... as I was writing this... that I could actually use my phone as a mobile hotspot! That would allow me to actually stay connected to the internet and get a bunch of other stuff done. Although I think the cell reception might get a bit dodgy about halfway through the crossing... but it's worth trying.

I just checked my mobile hotspot usage from the last billing period... 1.28 GB, which isn't bad considering I probably used it four times for several hours each time. I just ticked over into a new billing period so I have a fresh mobile data meadow to romp in!

Planning for Healthy Eating

The other thing I always chew on... but have yet to figure out is... what to eat on the ferry. I could go to the White Spot cafeteria onboard and order all sorts of things, but it's not cheap. I have wondered for a while if there is a microwave somewhere on board where I could heat some leftovers... I have a sneaking suspicion there is one... but I have not really gone on a hunt for one. I think it might be in the smaller cafe on board... next to the sugar station? I can almost picture it in my minds eye... but don't quote me on this!! So that will be my mission on this journey... do they have a microwave on board! Which still leaves me wondering about food... Maybe just a PB and J (peanut butter and jam) sandwich on gluten-free bread... Will have to give it some consideration... or just cave and order butter chicken on the ferry!

How it Actually Panned out

Well... it actually went really well!! I decided to buy some sandwich meat while I did my grocery shop before the ferry trip. So I made a sandwich, peeled an orange and cut up an apple. I was well set for food on board! (And yes... I have gotten a bit lax in my plant-based eating plan - but salami was just an easy choice and better & cheaper than the onboard options).

And my work session also went well. I was glad that I had some tasks lined up because I can get easily distracted and lose my focus but... that didn't happen this time. And I got some good work completed. I did use my phone as a mobile hotspot and it was pretty solid throughout the whole voyage, so that is something good to know!

I also had a poke around the ferry and... voila... they DO have a microwave onboard!! Very good to know as it give me the option of bringing some leftovers that I can reheat onboard the ferry.

Essential Equipment for the Camino

I've stayed in many youth hostels during my European travels. I have learned, from sad experience, that the most essential pieces of travel equipment are... ear plugs and a sleep mask. Without those... sleep is a virtual impossibility in a shared dorm room!

From the people who clatter into the room at 2 am after a night out at the clubs... giggling and whispering and stumbling into things and turning on lights... to the groggy travellers staggering into the room at 1 am after a delayed flight, massive suitcases in tow.... to the stentorian snorers who gasp and snort and sound like they are about to expire. Noise... lights... more noise... and yet more lights.

You see... travelers have this annoying habit of packing everything into separate plastic bags. And... in the middle of the night, they rustle through their myriad plastic bags, seeking their toothbrush or their pjs or... who knows what... rustle, rustle... more rustle, rustle... an eternal symphony of rustling! ugh!!! 

On my last trip to London in May 2019, my sister loaned me one of her sleep masks. One that has cupped eye coverings, so it's not pressing down on your eyes. It was blissful!! Super duper earplugs and an eye mask... I actually slept pretty good. Except... of course... when people were climbing up and down off the bunk bed... that shakes the whole bed and isn't restful. Sometimes it's better to be on the top bunk so you're the one doing the climbing!

It's not perfect, but it works. And from what I've been reading about the Camino... shared dormitories are de rigeur. Unless you want to pay $$$ for a private room. And... with 40 days (or so) to cover... I don't know that I want to spend $100 a night... every night. Maybe once in a while...

But for the regular run-of-the-mill stay in an albuergue (hostel/dormitory)... I'll be packing a serious sleeping mask and multiple sets of ear plugs... just in case some get lost along the way. It's these small things that make a difference. And I definitely want to have a good night's sleep while trekking the Camino.

I Saved a Life Today

I saved a life today. Maybe even three lives. Not sure who but... that doesn't matter... what matters is that I took time out of my busy day to step up, roll up my sleeves and bleed.

Yep, I'm a blood donor.

I'm not the coveted O- blood type though. That's the universal donor, whose blood can be infused into anyone in an emergency situation when a patient needs blood NOW.

I'm just an A+ blood type, the second most common after O-, but my blood is still useful for surgeries, etc.

My 50-Donation card

I've been donating blood since university but not consistently. Depending on where I was living, a blood donor clinic might not be all that accessible or even present.

 For a while, in Calgary, I was even a plasma donor. To be honest, I was trying to rack up my donation numbers. You see, blood donors could only donate every two months (now every three months), while plasma donors could donate once a week! Those plasma donations definitely helped boost me closer towards the 50 donations mark. Although... some older plasma donors in Calgary were pushing 1000 donations. I don't think I'm going to hit that benchmark in this lifetime.

Free snacks!!

Anyhow... Canadian Blood Services tries to make the donation process as smooth and efficient as possible. They really try to take care of you because you're not just donating your blood, you're donating your time. There's nothing worse than expecting to be in and out in one hour and walking out of there two hours later. Last year, they made several changes to their process.

I hadn't donated for almost a year and when I went in November last year, I was a bit surprised to find some pre-donation snacks! When you arrive, you are given a 500 ml bottle of water to drink as well as a selection of salty snacks - chips, pretzels, etc. The water and salt help the donation process go smoothly - less dizziness and fainting. Nice.

Pre-donation snack offerings for blood donors

The post-donation process was still the same. After the donation, you get to sit down, relax and be waited on by a gaggle of eager volunteers who offer you fruit juice and package cookies. Both help you recuperate from the donation process.

All of these treats, were individually wrapped: plastic water bottles, chips, tetra-pack juice boxes, cookie packet... and it got me thinking.

If I were to plan ahead... and bring my own... could I skip all of their offerings?

My blood donation
preparation kit

Today, I gave it a shot. I had a blood donation at 9 am and I did some planning and preparation:

• 500 ml metal water bottle - check!
• three pickles (more sodium than a small bag of chips) - check!
• juicy mandarin orange - check!
• handful of grapes - check!

I wasn't sure if these were going to be met with the Blood Services stamp of approval but it was totally fine. The post-donation volunteers were a bit deflated when I said I had water and my own treats, but they took it in good stride.

It didn't take a lot of time or effort for me to pull the stuff together. It might not make a huge difference in the massive blood donation operation but it's one Small Step... and it made a difference for me.

And my donation made a difference for someone out there... someone having heart surgery, or getting cancer treatment or a car crash victim.

50% of Canadian will need blood or know someone who will need blood. But... only 5% of eligible Canadians actually donate. Do you donate?

Habits of Caring for Self

"Put your own oxygen mask on first, then help others." I don't know how many times I heard that line while I was caregiving for my Dad. Over and over again... "you have to take care of yourself otherwise you can't care for him". It is so true. And  yet so impossible.

Caregiver Burnout

My Dad had vascular dementia. For anyone who has journeyed with a person stricken by dementia... you know what I mean.

For me, it also wasn't a rewarding experience. It wasn't sunshine and butterflies. My Dad and I had a complex relationship. Growing up, he was never there for us when we were kids. Oh, he was occasionally "there" physically... but he definitely wasn't there emotionally.

I did my best to care for him, but the toll it took on me was huge. I also tried to take care of myself, I really did... but when the phone rang at 7:15 am and it was Home Support (saying they couldn't come) or Dad (all confused because Home Support had come)... meditation got put on the back burner.

It was a slow chipping away at my care for self. It got to the point where I would forget to brush my teeth in the mornings. Do that often enough, and you lose the habit of brushing teeth very quickly! Why is it that bad habits are soooooo easy to form while good habits are NOT?

I'm one of those people who do well with routine. I do best when I have a plan. I'm not one of those loosey-goosey airy-fairy... zodiacal Air signs. I am a serious, down to earth... zodiacal Earth sign. Anchored. Grounded. Solid. But during the whole care-giving experience, I lost that... I became untethered from routine, from what grounded me and floated through my days in an aimless fog.

My partner would ask me: "What do you need to do right now, for you?". And I couldn't answer the question. Not a clue. In hindsight, I can see the signs of caregiver burnout and it was nasty. My partner completely freaked out one evening when she learned that I had no plan for the next day. "What about your routine?!!" I looked at her wearily and admitted, "I don't HAVE a routine!". Sometimes the caregiver needs to be taken care of...

Slowly, I began to build a tiny bit of routine into my life. Get up, go for a quick walk, meditate, breakfast. If phone calls disrupted that... then get back on track after the disruption. It was hit or miss for a while. Cause, somehow, it's darn easy to get off-routine and sooo hard to get on-routine!

That's one thing I've learned... caring for self requires some discipline. It's not going to happen by itself. And it's not just having a bubble bath. It's doing the things that I KNOW ground me but that... somehow... are always the first things to fall by the wayside.

I KNOW that walking in the woods is good for me. It feeds my soul like nothing else and yet... even knowing that. I don't do it. WTF? Here's what goes on in my head:

Me: It's nice out. I should go for a walk in the woods.
Other Me: I don't have enough time.
Me: Of course there's enough time. It doesn't have to be long. 20 minutes even!
Other Me: It's too much work. I'd have to change my pants and put on my boots and drive 3 minutes...
Me: Seriously? Come on, you could take photos of pretty leaves in the sunshine...
Other Me: I'd feel like a slug. I haven't hiked for so long, I'd get out of breath.
Me: Well then, this is a good time to get started!
Other Me: What if the plumber phones or...
Me: Good grief!! That's what cell phones are for!
Other Me: I don't feel like it... I don't want to.... You can't make me...

 And on it goes... until the time really is GONE! And both of me are exhausted...

Here's the thing. I ALWAYS feel better after going for a walk. Always. Without fail. Even if I get out of breath. And yet... there's this hump of inertia that I just can't seem to get over...

Wikipedia - Activation energy with and without
a catalyst

It reminds me of Chemistry 11/12... I remember these charts that involved a catalyst to get over the hump that prevented a chemical reaction from taking place.

The hump is called "Activation Energy". See the black line... it's pretty darn high. But add a catalyst (red line) and it becomes much lower, so it takes less energy to get the reaction going.

That's kind of like me and walking. The Activation Energy is pretty high, and gets higher if I engage in a laborious decision-making process with myself. What could I do to lower the Activation Energy?

One option is to skip the whole decision-making process... and just make the walk part of my routine. It's then non-negotiable and just something that I do... Here's the morning routine I'm working with right now:

• Get dressed
• Brush teeth
• Take vitamins
• Feed cat
• Walk

I actually have a check-list in my day planner because honestly... it's soooo easy to skip some of these. Except for feeding the cat... that really is non-negotiable. The other things are not well-ingrained habits for me and so every evening, I write out the list so it's front and centre for me the next morning. I don't necessarily look at the list because I can remember what comes next. Except... here's the thing... "Feed cat" is not written down and yet it always happens, without fail. Interesting--must reflect on that some more...

Another trick I could use is to lay out my walking clothes in the bathroom the night before. If I lay them out... then it becomes much easier to actually put them on. If I don't put them out, then I automatically get out of bed, grab my regular pants and put them on. Then, if I want to walk, I have added a decision point. "Oh, I've put on my regular pants. I wanted to go for a walk. Ah, it's too much trouble to change pants." Seriously... this is what goes on in my head. I haven't reduced the Activation Energy... I've actually increased it!

Finally, I make the "walk" as tiny as possible... at least while I'm in the house. A 20 minute walk seems overwhelmingly long, so I tell myself: "Just get dressed and go for a 5 minute walk." That's a tiny walk, and I'm more likely to say: "Okkkkaaaayyyyy.... fiiiinnnneeee." Once I'm out the door and walking though, over that Activation Energy hump, I usually go for much longer and 20 minutes becomes a snap. 

The trick is to make going for a walk as dummy-proof as possible with as few decision points as possible. Decisions take energy and increase that Activation Energy. Better to eliminate as many as possible. I don't have to think about what to wear because it's right there waiting for me. I don't have to think about what vitamins to take, because they're already all portioned out in one of those day-of-the-week dispensers. I don't have to think about what to do next... because I have the checklist in my head. I don't have to wrestle with the duration of the walk because it's set up to be small and doable (5 minutes).

Now, if I were to think of any of those things as "optional" then it becomes easy to skip them. Trust me... I know this. We went away for a couple of weeks and when we got back... my morning routine was no longer a habit. For the last month, I've been struggling to get back on track and... while I am always feeding the cat... I am still not going for a morning walk.

It's no wonder. I'm treating it like it's "optional". I'm not laying out my walking clothes the night before. I'm not telling myself "Just 5 minutes". Sooo... this is a bit of an insight for me. I didn't really know how this blog was going to play out, I just started writing. And I've got a clue as to why the morning walk isn't happening. I'm going to take my own advice and put these tips into practice tonight. The morning walk is now non-negotiable. I'm going to lay out my walking clothes in the bathroom tonight... and plan for a 5 minute walk in the morning. These are all Small Steps in moving me in the direction of health and wellness... Wish me luck!