Noticing the Sugar Hooks

I've been at this point soooooo many times in the last few years. I'll quit sugar and do well for a few weeks, maybe even a few months. And then... oh so slowly... it will sneak back into my life. A beer here (alcohol converts to sugar), a chocolate brownie there (pure sugar), a little treat everywhere. And then... just like that, I'm back on the sugar train... craving snacks and treats and indulging in junk food binges.

I am so tired of this roller coaster. And I KNOW that sugar is bad for Hashimoto's. The whole sugar/insulin thing... it attacks the thyroid gland. Sugar tanks my mood. It makes my joints ache. I can't think straight. I'm overwhelmed. All linked to Hashimoto's and sugar. It's just, as another Hashimoto sufferer said, one big clusterf*ck!

We're heading into Christmas Season... or should we say Chocolate Season. The holidays are a time to indulge in so many yummy things... chocolate, sweets, delectable feasts. But they all have a cost.

I bought a bunch of chocolates in late November, for Christmas. But now... I'm thinking about the box of Toffifee and the Lindt chocolate balls and... I feel a tad ill. I can't keep doing this. I need to take charge of my health. I am the only one who can do it. I know the consequences too.

And... I've been here so many times. In 2009 I quit Coke (sugar!!). And then started drinking hot chocolates at Starbucks. In 2019 I quit hot chocolates (sugar!!). And promptly started indulging in double chocolate fudge brownies at Starbucks. A few years ago, I ditched the brownies and started eating 85% dark chocolate squares (but too many). It is now 2025. Do I really want to wait till 2029? Probably not.

I see the pattern too... I get myself organized, I find my rhythm and balance and I'm going through life, so proud of myself and then... something happens. Stress at work. A death in the family. A pandemic. And I crave the comfort, the energy, the je ne sais pas that sugar brings. And it’s harder to bounce back than it used to be.

I've done it before. I've gone several weeks without chocolate or sugar and... then... as noted earlier... I crack the door a tiny bit to let in a birthday cupcake or a celebratory hot chocolate and... very quickly... the floodgates open.

I don't want to accept the fact that I need to go cold turkey. For life. Or at least to the point where I don't crave the stuff. And could I have a piece of birthday cake in the future? I really don't know. Maybe I should be joining an SA group (Sugarholics Anonymous). (OMG... there actually is such a group! I thought I made that up.)

I thought that I could be one of those people who can eat chocolate and sugar in moderation. Perhaps not. Genetically... some people can have one piece of chocolate and leave the rest for another day. Genetically, some people can't.

And I know that part of it is environmental as well. That is why I don't keep chocolate in the house. Going down to the store to buy it is an entropy hurdle that works for me. But if it comes in the house... I am hooped.

For now, noticing that feels like enough.

Fighting the Sugar Demon

Coke

Sugar... such an innocuous word. But sooo dangerous.

I've known for a while that sugar is my kryptonite, my nemesis... the thing that is, for me, the hardest to kick to the curb. And whenever I think I've vanquished sugar, it simply shape shifts and morphs into some other form that sneaks in under the radar. Kind of like whack-a-mole.

For years, I drank quite a bit of Coke. I started in university (back in the 80s) and only really overcame that addiction on 7 July 2009, when I drank my last can. Twenty-five years of addiction done! Hooray!!!

Wait... not so fast. Because sugar wasn't done with me yet... my new friend was now Starbucks hot chocolate. I mean... if you're going to go to Starbucks and sit there and use their wifi for hours, you need to buy something, right? And for me, it was hot chocolate... 

Starbucks hot chocolate

That started in the fall of 2009 and continued until the spring of 2019 when I drank my last hot chocolate (from Starbucks or anywhere). Hooray!!

I've now been hot chocolate free for over 850 days. Not that anyone's counting... And the trick, for me, in ending my hot chocolate addiction was to make an agreement with my partner that... if I had a hot chocolate, I would have to pay a $10 penalty to her! Right then... done with hot chocolate!

Wait... not so fast. Last summer, with the pandemic raging and Starbucks closed to visitors... I developed the habit of going for a hike on Saturdays and Sundays (a good thing) and then grabbing a Starbucks Double Fudge Chocolate Brownie to go (warmed up too, please). I'd take it to the park, sit by the pond, and eat it off of my camping plate (and camping fork), which I carried around in my day pack for just such an occasion. It started out as one brownie per weekend and then morphed into two brownies per weekend. And over the winter... it continued... even though I was no longer hiking! My new sugar addiction was born.

Starbucks brownie

On top of that... as this long gloomy winter of pandemic restrictions dragged on, my partner and I went down Junk Food Alley and started consuming copious amounts of chips and chocolate... with the occasional bag of Cheezies thrown in. My weight began to rise and I knew it was not a good idea... but when sugar has its teeth and claws into you... it's a bit of a beast.

Enter my new diagnosis of hypothyroidism... due to Hashimoto's thyroiditis... which is an auto-immune condition that attacks the thyroid. Charming. The auto-immune bit is the tricky part... trying to get a handle on that. There are a whole host of things that contribute to it... let's start with alcohol, caffeine, sugar and gluten. Just to name the Big 4.

Sigh... that includes beer... coffee... (and hot chocolate)... all yummy sugary treats and... things like bread, pizza dough, and... da-da-daaaaa... brownies. Actually... chocolate brownies tick three of those boxes. All I'd need was to add some rum extract to the brownie and it would hit all four.

Starbucks Gold Card

Sooo... caffeine is easy... don't drink coffee. Not really a tea drinker either so... check that one off the list. Done!

Alcohol... I do like a beer on the weekends... but I stopped three weekends ago and haven't looked back. Done!

Sugar... bugger. It's one thing to know, intellectually that sugar causes inflammation in the body and is NOT good for Hashimoto's sufferers... but putting that into practice has been a bit of a problem.

Here's what I've come up with, my latest Go Big or Go Home strategy... I've removed the Starbucks app from my phone so I can't use it to pay for brownies. And... I've given my partner my Starbucks rewards card so I can't get any rewards (or use them) if I pass by a Starbucks. It's kind of a variation on the "put your credit card in ice if you're dealing with credit card debt". Cause the thing is... you get rewards for buying things at Starbucks and I'm such a cheapskate that I won't stop there if I can't use the app or my card. Sooo... we'll see how this goes. So far, so good... as of this writing, I am two days brownie free. Sigh... a long road ahead but I'm hoping that eliminating this form of sugar... and being wary of all other forms... will help me get a handle on this auto immune nightmare.

Wish me luck!