From Digital Junk Food to Mindful Living: A Mid-Year Reflection

O.M.G. The year is half over. As I sit here and write this, on July 1, I have no idea where the year went.

Never-mind June.

To be fair, I was out of town working from June 11-23, soooo there goes half the month but it seems like it was just June 1.

I follow these Hedger Humor cartoons in Facebook and every first of the month is the same... "It's June!" "What!!??"

So, obviously I am not the only one who is appalled at the rapidly accelerating pace of time.

Part of it for me is that I look back and think... what have I actually accomplished in the past month, 6 months, whatever. And it always leaves me feeling... inadequate. Wanting. Like... I should have more to show for this month!

Time is that one precious, non-renewable resource that we all have and we all get to spend in whatever way we choose. But at the end of the day, week, month... I often find that I have spent my time on the equivalent of junk food.... scrolling the news sites, scrolling Facebook, scrolling Instagram... watching cat videos... Under the guise of "relaxing". But this form of "relaxing" always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth and a packet full of regrets. Sure, cat videos might make me smile but... seriously... there is so much more to smile about in real life... particularly if you had a real cat... but we won't talk about that. (We are going cat-less after our beloved Minnie passed away in April... we are strong... strong I tell you...)

Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling... it leaves me feeling empty, slightly bleh and filled with regret that I have let an hour fritter away. This is not unlike how I feel when I eat junk food... still hungry (give me more), feeling definitely bleh... and filled with regret. 

But scrolling is so easy... it's right there... and just like junk food which has that perfect symphony of salt, sugar and fat... scrolling has just that right amount of addictive interest to keep us coming back and wanting more, more, more... but never feeling satisfied. You know when you open the bag of M&Ms... you can't just have ONE... they are so small, so yummy... and so you just gobble them up, one after the other... not unlike those short, small TikTok videos or Instagram Reels or... whatever... More, more, more!

I know this is probably a dopamine, endorphin, brain chemistry thing... social media is designed to keep us scrolling... the same way junk food is designed to keep us craving more.

And soooo... I find that time just slips away... eaten by my scrolling fingers... Day after day, week after week... month after month. I am sitting here at 6:24 am on a new day, of a new month, at the halfway point of 2024. Could I choose a different format for July? (I know this is getting published in late August so you won't have to wait long for the results of my experiment!).

Could I choose to do something else during those moments when I reach for the phone? Why the heck do I reach for the phone? Most of the time it's because it is easy... it is right there, always in my back pocket, always within reach. There is a reason for that... as an Airbnb host, I need to respond to guests soonest... but that also means temptation is always easily accessible. But perhaps I could have something else close by, my e-book reader, my journal, a pad of paper to write down thoughts. Heck, I could even just close my eyes, take a deep breath and have a mini-meditation.

I know that it is a habit. I know that I want to scratch that itch. And sometimes I find inspiration in my feeds... well... on occasion... ok fine... very rarely. Sigh.

So I am setting my phone's "Wellness" settings thusly:

• Total Daily Screen Time - 2 hours
• News/IG/FB Time - 30 minutes (that's 1 hour less than my normal intake)

And I'm hoping that being more mindful, more aware, more attentive, more present will.... slow down time. Maybe. Not sure.

But perhaps at the end of July, I can look back and not gasp in shock when someone says "It's August!" and wonder... where did the time go??

The Mason Jar of Life and Tasks

You've like heard of the Jar of Life metaphor.

The idea is that the jar represents our life, limited and finite. There are only 24 hours in a day. There are only so many days/weeks/months in our life. We can only do so many things with that limited time.

The rocks, pebbles and sand, represent various features of our life, depending on how you look at it. So the big rocks can be Family, Health, Friends, Hobbies, etc. These are the Important things in life. The pebbles represent things like House, Car, Job, etc. And the sand is everything else, the small stuff.

If we fill up the jar with sand first (the unimportant stuff), there is no room for the rocks (important stuff). The trick is to place the important things in the jar firsts, then add the pebbles, then the sand... and then the beer (as some theories go - there is always room for beer with friends!).

Now, that's the fairly simple, basic version. This metaphor has been taken and used in all sorts of different contexts. And it's not quite as simple as putting big rocks in first, then pebbles, then sand. Unless the pebbles are really small, you'll probably find that the pebbles jam up against the rocks and the side of the jar and you're left with a bunch of empty holes in the bottom. Which could house pebbles, but which the pebbles can't reach. Technically, you should put some big rocks in, then some pebbles, then some more big rocks, then more pebbles, then the sand... and shake it all around!

As I was thinking about this metaphor, it struck me that it can easily be applied to my To-Do List and my Eating Plan.

Eating Plan Jar

Here's the thing... my tummy is a mason jar (a small one). I get up and I have a good breakfast (rock) and a good lunch (another rock)... but if I start snacking in the afternoon... and eating a bit of junk food or popcorn or whatever... there is no room in my tummy for dinner (another rock). And it's not like I can eat all three main meals in one go... my tummy is only so big. The meals are spread out over the day. So, it's up to me to make sure that, throughout the day, I am tending to my big rock meals first... and then... maybe add some snacks. Or maybe not.

To-Do List Jar

As for my To-Do list... my energy ration for the day is the mason jar. Or the number of hours in the day. or both.

There are days where I am so busy doing all the small things on my list. Because they are easy and they have been hanging around forever. So I am tossing pebbles and sand into that jar like nobody's business. Feeling so productive and so excited that I am getting things done!

But then... by 3 pm, I am pooped. No more energy. I've blown it all on sand and pebbles. And I look over my to-do list and see the rocks (projects) that I didn't tackle that day. I feel defeated and angry. Yes, I got a gazillion things done... but not the things that I really want to get done. I was seduced by pebbles and sand.

I know why I didn't tackle the big things... because rocks are darn heavy! And these rocks don't mean that the project is done. There is this huge boulder that is the project. Each rock is just a small part of it. Ugh. I work for a few hours, chipping away at the boulder, and I've got one lousy rock to show for it.

And not just that one project. There are other projects too! So maybe, at the end of the day, I've got 3 rocks to put in the jar. Then I can add a few pebbles - but not a lot because there is only so much time and energy in the day. Sand follows... the minutiae of life that has to happen regardless.

But... I feel like I've made a difference. I have moved three projects ahead. I haven't completed them. But I have moved them forward. Just a bit. Which makes a difference. I feel productive and satisfied.

My To-Do List is a mish-mash of rocks, pebbles and sand. If I don't plan out my day ahead of time... I can wake up and get sucked into the ease of pebbles and sand. I drift from this pebble to this pile of sand, avoiding the rocks until I have "more time" or "more energy" or "more of something... I don't know what... but something".

I often feel like I need a good 4 hour chunk of time to work away on a project, to produce a rock that is worthy! I think that I can maybe get that whole boulder broken down and cram it into today's jar. Hmmm... probably not.

I often look at my To-Do list and defer things to random days in the future. On that day, I wake up and find 40 things on my to-do list. Overwhelmed by the enormity of it, I look for something doable - usually a pebble or a pile of sand. I do that, just to gain some momentum.. Maybe just one more pebble. Oh heck, the morning's almost gone... more pebbles!!

It's like pebbles and sand are the junk food of tasks for me. They are easy. They satisfy me, at least for a while. But ultimately... the high doesn't last long. 

This all make sense to me. I see my patterns. I do tend to avoid the rocks - they are too hard, take too long, too much energy, need more work, etc. I gravitate towards the pebbles and sand - easy and quick. 

Will it change anything though? This awareness of how I hold tasks and my finite life? Well... time will tell, but I have started sitting down on Sundays and planning my week. I have started using time blocking to map out the day. By the time I've filled in appointments and health (exercise, healthy meals, journaling), I find that I usually have four reasonable chunks of time (a couple of hours or so): early morning (6-8 am), mid-morning (9-11 am), afternoon (1:30-4:30 pm) and evening (6-8 pm). That's about 9 hours total time. Broken up into chunks... but still a significant amount of time.

Time blocking from ToDoist

I spend the early morning creating... writing this blog and a couple of my other blogs. This is my time, to do what I love... to write. Mid-morning is usually work time - the contract work that I do. Afternoon is time for projects - right now, developing a direct booking system for our Airbnb which involves a number of different facets. I've been dragging my heels on this for months... so this is the biggest difference for me. Actually blocking these hours off to get this boulder tackled! The evening time is not my best time so I tend to use that for down time - listening to podcasts while I do puzzles, maybe mowing the lawn or putz-ing in the yard.

Sometimes the day goes sideways and I have to adjust my expectations. Maybe there's another rock (like a vet appointment for the cat) that nudges its way into the day. Or there is something urgent that drops into my day. Either way... I can adjust (re-calculating) and go with the flow. 

Just knowing that I have reserved time for the rocks in my life makes a huge difference. I don't feel like such a junk-food tasker! Binging on the simple/easy carb tasks of life!

Always, I am reminded that life is full of small steps. I can't cram that boulder/project into today's jar. Not a hope in heck. I can only tackle it in small steps, one rock at a time.