When My Day Turns into a Chronic Hiccuper

 There are just some days where everything goes sideways. Wake up early, Starbucks not open, Wifi not working, Bluetooth mouse not connecting, brain not working properly, can't log-in to a website, co-worker complaining about something... ugh!

It seems like the whole day is "recalculating... recalculating... recalculating...". I try to go with the flow and pivot and adapt and reformulate and regroup and refocus and readjust and... eventually it's just a bit too much. I just want something to go right!!!

Sooo... deep breathing. Pause. Slow down. Maybe it's time to stop. Just stop. Another deep breath. Given what is happening to this day... what are my priorities. Not what I hoped to get done. What do I actually NEED to get done. I have all sorts of plans and ideas and tasks for the day but... maybe it's time to let them go and reassess my day. Which is a hard thing for me. I just want everything to go smoothly! Why can't it just go smoothly every single day!

Which is really a useless, pointless question. There's always little hiccups that happen in a day and on this particular day, it seems like the hiccups are endless. So, given that it's a Day of Hiccups... how can I adjust my perception, my attitude about this day. Rather than getting frustrated... it's to recognize that this day is just not off to a great start. Really, anything that I get done today is a bonus.

And... rather than struggling upstream, frantically trying to make things happen in the face of a slew of hiccups... just go with the flow. Maybe today is not the day to write a blog. Maybe today is not the day to figure out why the Service Canada website is rejecting my login (it is a Saturday after all). Maybe today is not the day to work on anything at all. Maybe it's a day to rest. The workshop I've been helping with had its last session this morning. There is nothing urgent on my plate. I can actually stop.

My temptation though is to get a whole bunch of other things done today, stuff that has been snow-ploughed all week, as the workshop work took up my time and energy. I figured that once the session was done today, I could dive in and get a whole host of things checked off on my to-do list. Maybe not.

So perhaps it's time to stop... maybe even back-up and reassess this day. What do I NEED to get done today. Maybe I NEED to rest and relax for a while. That is a hard thing for me to admit. But that's what this is all about... reflecting on what is happening and seeing what is required. It's a small step on the road to self-care.. but at least it's a step!

... Recalculating... Recalculating...

You know how, when you're using GPS... or your phone's map feature... and you're driving... and it tells you to go left and you go right... it then pauses, frowns at you (you can just feel that)... and in this prissy voice says "recalculating... recalculating..." and then gives you a new route? Well that happens in real life too...

Except there's no prissy AI voice to tell you that you've gone off course... and that you need to pause and stop and figure out how to get back on track. There's no voice from the heavens that says "recalculating".

And it's easy to get off track. A few brownies here... a few chocolate bars there... and suddenly you are 5, 8 or 10 lbs off your ideal weight... you know... the weight where 80% of your clothes fit you. Especially your jeans...

For me... it's my jeans... and my belt... that start me muttering that dreaded phrase... "recalculating". All of a sudden, and it really does feel that sudden, the belt no longer fits so well at hole #4... but we are now having to use hole #3... and then, sometimes... it just feels less constricting at hole #2. Uh-oh!!! Recalculating!!!

Or... I'm going through my closet, trying on pants and... a few years ago... I was actually able to slide down into a 12 (or a 32) which was amazing!! I mean... normally I'm a 14/34 but... a 12/32 felt great! But then I went back to a 14/34 and I was cool with that. But now... all of a sudden... those 34s are feeling a bit too tight. Especially when they are fresh out of the laundry! Ugh! I feel like a sausage!!... and then... there it goes again... "recalculating"...

But it's not just the weight thing... there are so many ways to get off course. Like... during the winter months, it's dark and cold and wet and... I don't walk as much as normal. And then as the days get longer, come February and March, I get out walking more and I feel like a total slug.... "recalculating"...

Or I let the meditation habit slip away... cause I'm feeling soooo good! And then the days and weeks go by until final I have a complete meltdown and lament the state of my life and my emotions and... "recalculating"...

I know that if I neglect my daily writing habit... or my daily walk in the forest habit... I can coast for a while without them... getting further and further away from my ideal path... but eventually... I'll have one of those meltdowns.

The thing is... the GPS informs me pretty quick that I am off course with her prissy "recalculating". That doesn't happen in the analogue world. In real life... you don't realize you're off course until you're well and truly lost! It's not like a quick u-turn is going to get me back on the path quickly. Nope... for any of these issues... it's going to require me to put some serious effort and concentrated focus into getting back on track.

When you're driving a car... and you're on the straight stretch... yes, you can take your hands off the wheel for a moment or too... or even for a long moment and the car will just keep going straight. Unless you hit a pothole or a divot in the road. If that happens, all bets are off... But I wouldn't dream of taking my hands off the wheel when I'm on a winding, curvy or pothole-y road...

It's kind of like that in life. Everything is going great!! Life is smooth and straight and... I'll just take my hands off the wheel for a moment. I can ease up on all the habits of my life. I can have a brownie... or skip a walk... or skip some writing... for a day... or a week... But very quickly, I forget that life is not always straight and smooth and a pothole (life event) comes out of nowhere and... boom... I'm off course... maybe even in the ditch!

Soooo... the life lesson here is... don't take your hands off the steering wheel. Pay attention to what is going on in life... maybe a brownie once in a while (once a month) is OK... maybe not. Listen for those whispers of "recalculating"... before it gets to the point where you're lost in the woods and it's a major struggle to get back on track.