Beyond the Clock: My Evolution from 4-Hour Dependency

When I first started this blog, I knew that I wanted it to focus on small steps - for healthy living, for the environment, for anything really. And several years into this, I am reminded daily that no great thing gets done without these small steps. Everything is made up of small steps.

The thing is... we don't see some of those small steps. We see a singer blaze into stardom and forget that this singer spent hours, days, months, years, practicing their craft, one small step at a time. We see new buildings pop up in our neighbourhood. We don't see the myriad small steps that go into constructing the building. We hear of a friend of a friend retiring at age 40 with millions in the bank. We are jealous and wonder what they did to hit the jackpot? Win the lottery? Sell a start-up? We don't believe it can be done one frugal penny-pinching step at a time.

And we know this... deep down, we know this... but still... we think that we there might be a shortcut to fame or fortune.

How Much Time is "Enough" Time?

A friend of my is producing two books a year (more or less). These are not fiction books, but heavily researched non-fiction espionage books. I don't know how he does it! He must have oodles and oodles of time! Like, open vistas of whole days that are just devoted to writing. Right? Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps he just has a different view of time.

I still think that I need several blissfully empty hours in front of me before I can work on the next book, or start a new project. I don't believe that I can write a book one small step at a time. I think 30 minutes is too short. I think the smallest step I need is 2 hours. Maybe more. Like 4 hours!

Perhaps that is the key. I have an image in my mind of the size/length/duration of the "smallest step". For writing... realistically... I think I need 2 hours... and ideally 4 hours. I mean, I "need" that time to get back into it... to pick up where I left off... to gather my research notes and recall where I was in the project. And maybe I do need an hour to do that... but if I were to work on the project every day... I wouldn't need so much time to "get back in the groove".

When it comes to yard maintenance... it's the same... I think I need a good hour to get anything useful done. I mean, there is soooo much to do out there... I believe that I need at least an hour to make a meaningful dent in things. Or do I? My partner and I went out there this past spring, on a sunny afternoon, and decided to spend 15 minutes decluttering the shed. We made a sizable dent in the chaos in the shed. Just 15 minutes.

Same with house cleaning... my default seems to be an hour. Even though I know, from experience, that I can get a tonne of cleaning done in 15 minutes. My brain seems to have a default setting of one hour.

So if there is less than an hour of time in my day... I fill it with smaller, less important tasks that I know I can complete, rather than working on a larger project which I know will not be complete... even though it is moved further along to completion.

I know that completing a task gives a dopamine hit... so maybe I'm just a dopamine addict... wanting the hit after completing a task. If I know that a task can't be completed in 15 minutes or an hour... there is no dopamine carrot dangling ahead of me. And so I default to easier, simpler, shorter tasks.

The question then becomes... can I alter that 1 hour default? I did use the Pomodoro technique successfully a few times for projects that were seriously stuck. Work for just 25 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. It seems awfully rigid though. Or could I create an artificial dopamine carrot for working on something for 15-30 minutes?  And what would that look like?

Peak Alertness

Or... perhaps my sense that an hour is required in order for me to do productive project work isn't actually that far off. Studies have shown that our ultradian rhythm (cycles repeated multiple times in a 24 hour period) might have a role to play. Based on studies of our natural energy and alertness cycle... we can maintain peak alertness for 90 to 120 minutes before we need a break. On top of that... studies have also shown that it takes about 23 minutes to get into a deep work zone.

Sooo... if I really want to do some deep work... then the Pomodoro technique isn't going to work. I legitimately need about 30 minutes to get into a work zone. And I can maintain that for up to 2 hours. So the sweet spot for working on a complex project (like writing a blog or working on another book) is going to be somewhere in the 60-120 minute zone.

This actually makes me feel a bit better. I'm not mucked up! My sense that I can't get anything useful done on a blog or a book in less than an hour is probably not that far off. I need to be able to work on it for at least 30 minutes to get into a flow zone... but can only maintain that for another hour or so.

30 Minutes is Enough?

But here's where I can marry these two bits of information. All I really need is a 30 minute chunk of time. That's a small enough segment that it doesn't feel impossible or overwhelming. I also know that once I've been working on something for 30 minutes... odds are I will continue for a bit longer. And yes, ideally I would have a one hour chunk to devote to my writing.

On the other hand... for other things... like decluttering the garden shed, or updating our finances... I can drop that down to 15 minutes. I can get a lot of decluttering done in 15 minutes.

Now... the trick is... to actually follow through on this. An hour seems like a fairly large step to me... although 30 minutes is a bit more doable... cuts that hour in half. But even those 30 minutes are broken up into countless small steps... the first one being... to just start! Getting started seems to be 80% of the battle. If I can just get started, I know that everything else falls into place.

Next Small Step

So much of my to-do list is made up of things like "write blog about ____". That isn't, actually, a small step. That's like saying "land a man on the moon". Well... let's just give up right now because that is a huge mountain of a task! It's no wonder I get stuck and just skip over that item in my to-do list... it's much more doable to "screw fire extinguisher to the wall"... a very concrete, small step task. And it gives me a quick dopamine hit. Whereas "write blog" is so amorphous and nebulous that my dopamine addict looks at it and goes... "nope... too hard... I need a quick fix". And so I spend my time completing small tasks rather than focusing my precious time on larger, complex tasks.

Sigh... I'm back to looking at my productivity system! Surely there is something out there... something better than what I am doing. Something that will actually help me focus and get things done?

Productivity Systems

What about the Getting Things Done (GTD) system... where you identify the next actionable step? "Write blog" is not an actionable step. Even "research blog" is not an actionable step. Maybe "open blogger web app"... "open current blog post"... "review material written to-date"... "identify next steps"... Those are small steps. But do I really want to spend time adding them to my to-do list? Not really. I think I should be able to identify these when I see "write blog post"... but clearly that is NOT working!

There's also time-blocking... where you look at the week ahead and map things out ahead of time. What appointments do I have? What are the self-care things that need to go in there - walk, eating, etc. What work time do I need to factor into the schedule. Then... look at the remaining time and figure out... what can I do in that block of time... write a blog? answer emails and make phone calls? research Airbnb tips and tricks? The idea with time-blocking is that you group things together. So I am not answering emails and making phone calls throughout the day, when I should really be working on a blog or something else. I have tried it in the past and found it far too rigid... but perhaps I wasn't using it correctly because it is supposed to flex and flow with the unexpected.

I've also come across another idea... about working on one thing... without distraction. So the question to ask is... "Did I do what I said I'm going to do for as long as I said I would, without distraction?". Even if I didn't finish it... I can still get a dopamine hit because I did what I said I would do... without getting distracted. That's a win!

I'm going to have to let all of these percolate for a while... and see what I can come up with that might actually work for me

Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay

Procrastination Nation: A Deep Dive into the Diverse Species of Delay

 Regular readers of this blog will know that I struggle with Procrastination. I know that I'm not the only one, but sometimes it does feel like a lonely struggle. I see so many people around me who seem to function at a higher level. Maybe I'm just not seeing their procrastination? After all... it can be easy to hide... to camouflage... for a while.

A few weeks back, I came across this cute graphic - A Field Guide to Procrastinators - 20px - Twenty Pixels. Every single one of them resonated with me!

Let's walk through them one at a time...

The Cleaner

Well... of course. Let me declutter my cupboard... or clean my desk, or organize my books or... vacuum the house. Any of these things is very productive... and helps me feel that I have done something useful. Plus... cleaning my space does actually help me to feel in control. But... ultimately... it isn't all that productive if it drags on for hours and days.

From 20 Pixels

The Panicker

I don't go here very often, but I do know this one! Leave it all to the last minute and then have a freak-out fit. I do have to say that I don't stay here all that long. There's a part of me that gets fed up with The Panicker and just says "Start Already!".

From 20 Pixels

The List Maker

Yes, yes... I know... this is me to a tee!! When in doubt, make a list! When faced with an overwhelming pile of stuff, make a list! Even better... make a spreadsheet!!! Or... ooooohhhh... find a new, shinier, better productivity app and transfer ALL of my to-do items into this new app and get them nicely organized and colour-coded and... hours go by. And at the end of it, I have done nary a thing on my list but... man... do I ever feel productive!!

From 20 Pixels

The Napper

Mmmm... not really my go-to. I tend to only nap if I'm really tired. But yes, that is what I do look like when I am napping... mouth open and drooling. Although the pet is a cat and not a dog...  But napping as a form of procrastination... not really.

From 20 Pixels

The Sidetracker

Oh boy... yep, this is me. Rather than working on the most urgent thing... I will work on the thing that is not as urgent... but is more fun. Or I'll work on an entirely new thing! And I can work like a fiend on the new thing and feel soooo productive but... then flip over to The Panicker when I realize how close the deadline is for the urgent thing... 

From 20 Pixels

The Social Sharer

OK... this is NOT me. I am not big on Social Media so I'm not going to be posting pics of myself not working. Although... I might write a blog about me not writing and procrastinating! Is that the same thing? Nah... not really? Oh... it is?! Sigh...

From 20 Pixels

The Internet Researcher

OK... yes... I do get sucked into cat videos every once in a while. But on the whole... my internet research is very on-point! I can happily dig around for hours, researching my latest blog topic... or a week or a month of blog topics. Anything to keep me from actually sitting down and writing. Yep... I just need more info, more data, more certainty... before I can commit to having an opinion or moving forward on a project. Research makes me feel sooooo productive!

From 20 Pixels

The Snacker

Noooo... I don't think this is me... is it? No not really. I'm not someone to go and stand in front of the fridge and look for something to nibble on. Not my mojo.

From 20 Pixels

The Gamer

Also not much of a gamer! Although I can see the draw of this one. Soooo much to do in the virtual world. If I was into Farmville (or whatever)... I'm sure I could do this... Actually... now that I think about it... I used to play Age of Empires incessantly as a way to stave off work... even Minesweeper! I was paralyzed by uncertainty and I would use computer games as a form of procrastination. I do seem to have kicked that habit though. Don't play computer games. Have no interest in computer games. But... give me a new productivity app!!! Oooooohhhh... 

From 20 Pixels

The Watcher

Mmmm... yes... I could see this happening. Although we tend not to watch a lot of TV anymore.  But yes, I have done this in the past. The next show comes on and I'm so deep into needing to know what happens that... it's easy to just binge! And the work gets left undone... just one more episode....

From 20 Pixels

The Delegator

Hmmm... nope, this isn't really me either. No kids to pass things off to. No underlings to burden. If things aren't getting done... the buck stops with me. Although... I could delegate to Future Me but... we all know how that works out!

From 20 Pixels

The Perpetuator

Oh yes!!! There's me!!! It's getting too late now... I will just start tomorrow.... Or, even better... I need at least 4 hours of solid time in order to work on this project and I only have 1 hour or 2 hours and... you know... that's really not enough time to do anything meaningful... so I'll push it off to next week!! Yes, because next week is wide open and I'll have tonnes of time to work on it then! Sigh.

From 20 Pixels

Which Ones are You?

Just to recap... these are my Top 5 Go-To Procrastination Habits... ranked in order...

1. The List Maker - let's make a fresh, new list!
2. The Perpetuator - tomorrow I'll have time... maybe next week
3. The Internet Researcher - I need more info...
4. The Sidetracker - oooohhhh... new idea...
5. The Cleaner - must do laundry... must declutter... first...

I don't really do these ones... or only rarely...

• The Panicker - OMG! It's due tomorrow!
• The Watcher - just one more episode
• The Delegator - you do this, you do this... I'll rest
• The Napper - just a quick nap
• The Social Share - here's a pic of me not working
• The Gamer - just one more level-up
• The Snacker - I need something to nibble on...

Soooo... which are your go-tos? And how do you dodge them?

The Mason Jar of Life and Tasks

You've like heard of the Jar of Life metaphor.

The idea is that the jar represents our life, limited and finite. There are only 24 hours in a day. There are only so many days/weeks/months in our life. We can only do so many things with that limited time.

The rocks, pebbles and sand, represent various features of our life, depending on how you look at it. So the big rocks can be Family, Health, Friends, Hobbies, etc. These are the Important things in life. The pebbles represent things like House, Car, Job, etc. And the sand is everything else, the small stuff.

If we fill up the jar with sand first (the unimportant stuff), there is no room for the rocks (important stuff). The trick is to place the important things in the jar firsts, then add the pebbles, then the sand... and then the beer (as some theories go - there is always room for beer with friends!).

Now, that's the fairly simple, basic version. This metaphor has been taken and used in all sorts of different contexts. And it's not quite as simple as putting big rocks in first, then pebbles, then sand. Unless the pebbles are really small, you'll probably find that the pebbles jam up against the rocks and the side of the jar and you're left with a bunch of empty holes in the bottom. Which could house pebbles, but which the pebbles can't reach. Technically, you should put some big rocks in, then some pebbles, then some more big rocks, then more pebbles, then the sand... and shake it all around!

As I was thinking about this metaphor, it struck me that it can easily be applied to my To-Do List and my Eating Plan.

Eating Plan Jar

Here's the thing... my tummy is a mason jar (a small one). I get up and I have a good breakfast (rock) and a good lunch (another rock)... but if I start snacking in the afternoon... and eating a bit of junk food or popcorn or whatever... there is no room in my tummy for dinner (another rock). And it's not like I can eat all three main meals in one go... my tummy is only so big. The meals are spread out over the day. So, it's up to me to make sure that, throughout the day, I am tending to my big rock meals first... and then... maybe add some snacks. Or maybe not.

To-Do List Jar

As for my To-Do list... my energy ration for the day is the mason jar. Or the number of hours in the day. or both.

There are days where I am so busy doing all the small things on my list. Because they are easy and they have been hanging around forever. So I am tossing pebbles and sand into that jar like nobody's business. Feeling so productive and so excited that I am getting things done!

But then... by 3 pm, I am pooped. No more energy. I've blown it all on sand and pebbles. And I look over my to-do list and see the rocks (projects) that I didn't tackle that day. I feel defeated and angry. Yes, I got a gazillion things done... but not the things that I really want to get done. I was seduced by pebbles and sand.

I know why I didn't tackle the big things... because rocks are darn heavy! And these rocks don't mean that the project is done. There is this huge boulder that is the project. Each rock is just a small part of it. Ugh. I work for a few hours, chipping away at the boulder, and I've got one lousy rock to show for it.

And not just that one project. There are other projects too! So maybe, at the end of the day, I've got 3 rocks to put in the jar. Then I can add a few pebbles - but not a lot because there is only so much time and energy in the day. Sand follows... the minutiae of life that has to happen regardless.

But... I feel like I've made a difference. I have moved three projects ahead. I haven't completed them. But I have moved them forward. Just a bit. Which makes a difference. I feel productive and satisfied.

My To-Do List is a mish-mash of rocks, pebbles and sand. If I don't plan out my day ahead of time... I can wake up and get sucked into the ease of pebbles and sand. I drift from this pebble to this pile of sand, avoiding the rocks until I have "more time" or "more energy" or "more of something... I don't know what... but something".

I often feel like I need a good 4 hour chunk of time to work away on a project, to produce a rock that is worthy! I think that I can maybe get that whole boulder broken down and cram it into today's jar. Hmmm... probably not.

I often look at my To-Do list and defer things to random days in the future. On that day, I wake up and find 40 things on my to-do list. Overwhelmed by the enormity of it, I look for something doable - usually a pebble or a pile of sand. I do that, just to gain some momentum.. Maybe just one more pebble. Oh heck, the morning's almost gone... more pebbles!!

It's like pebbles and sand are the junk food of tasks for me. They are easy. They satisfy me, at least for a while. But ultimately... the high doesn't last long. 

This all make sense to me. I see my patterns. I do tend to avoid the rocks - they are too hard, take too long, too much energy, need more work, etc. I gravitate towards the pebbles and sand - easy and quick. 

Will it change anything though? This awareness of how I hold tasks and my finite life? Well... time will tell, but I have started sitting down on Sundays and planning my week. I have started using time blocking to map out the day. By the time I've filled in appointments and health (exercise, healthy meals, journaling), I find that I usually have four reasonable chunks of time (a couple of hours or so): early morning (6-8 am), mid-morning (9-11 am), afternoon (1:30-4:30 pm) and evening (6-8 pm). That's about 9 hours total time. Broken up into chunks... but still a significant amount of time.

Time blocking from ToDoist

I spend the early morning creating... writing this blog and a couple of my other blogs. This is my time, to do what I love... to write. Mid-morning is usually work time - the contract work that I do. Afternoon is time for projects - right now, developing a direct booking system for our Airbnb which involves a number of different facets. I've been dragging my heels on this for months... so this is the biggest difference for me. Actually blocking these hours off to get this boulder tackled! The evening time is not my best time so I tend to use that for down time - listening to podcasts while I do puzzles, maybe mowing the lawn or putz-ing in the yard.

Sometimes the day goes sideways and I have to adjust my expectations. Maybe there's another rock (like a vet appointment for the cat) that nudges its way into the day. Or there is something urgent that drops into my day. Either way... I can adjust (re-calculating) and go with the flow. 

Just knowing that I have reserved time for the rocks in my life makes a huge difference. I don't feel like such a junk-food tasker! Binging on the simple/easy carb tasks of life!

Always, I am reminded that life is full of small steps. I can't cram that boulder/project into today's jar. Not a hope in heck. I can only tackle it in small steps, one rock at a time.

Tuning into my Yammering Silent To-Do List

 Do you have a silent to-do list? Have you even heard of one? I hadn't until I read Fumio Sasaki's book, Good-bye Things. Here's the gist of it in a nutshell. The silent to-do list is all of those things that are NOT on your to-do list but that still impinge on your consciousness as you walk by them. The item itself is silent... but the voice in your head is not!

• The bookshelf that needs dusting - "Shoot, gotta dust that. What if guests come over (well... not during Covid obviously) and think I'm a complete house slob!"
• The little tchotchke sitting on the counter that needs a glue job - "Right, gotta look for the Crazy Glue. I don't think we have Crazy Glue. Gotta remember to buy Crazy Glue." 
• The frayed tea towel - "Gotta fix that or toss that. But we don't have a sewing machine. But it's still a useful towel except for that fraying hem."
• The books that haven't been read - "No time... but one day! Just not today. It's too thick for today. Maybe I should let it go? No, I paid good money for that book. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow."
• The messy desk that needs organizing - "Not right now... maybe tomorrow."
• The email in the Inbox that needs a reply - "Ooohhh... still don't know what to say, will wait till inspiration strikes..."
• Those family tree documents that need to get processed and entered into the tree - "One of these days... when I have time..."
  
• And on and on it goes.

I don't know about you, but I have dozens... maybe hundreds of these little silent to-do list items pinging off me over single day. And that's on top of everything that's on my regular to-do list, the big items. And, I have to say, all that pinging, and the continual batting away of things in my head, is exhausting... and overwhelming.

Now, Sasaki says the solution is... wait for it... less things. Which makes sense. Less things means less pinging and less activity in my head. If the bookshelf didn't have so many tchotchkes on it, it would be easier to dust. If we didn't have that little tchotchke in the first place, it wouldn't need repair! Although... one still needs tea towels... and books... and documents. But there are obviously work-arounds to all of those things. Do we really need to save every document and receipt? Can they be tossed or just scanned and then tossed? And books... oh books are a whole other thing... requiring a whole separate blog post.

Suffice to say, Sasaki's little piece has opened my eyes to the things that are looking at me with pleading, mournful, regretful eyes. The things that I need to take care of... and what I'm beginning to realize is that... some of those things... I don't want to be responsible for them anymore. They weigh me down and I've only got so much energy and enthusiasm for care-taking. I am not, after all, a museum curator!

Here's an example... we have a whole slew of vases that my partner loves to fill up with various flowers from the garden. Some of those vases are ones that I picked up on travels and, unfortunately, one of those got broken. I had had it for 20 years and I was sad and angry that it got broken. But, I worked through that fairly quickly by acknowledging my emotions. After all, it's only a vase. It's only stuff. But I'm one of those people who has a fairly strong emotional attachment to some of that stuff (MY stuff). Some of my stuff contains memories and there are so many emotions attached to those memories. I don't want to lose the stuff because I'm afraid that I will lose the memory that goes with it.

After the broken vase episode, I went through the vase cupboard and pulled out some of my favourite ones and put them on the bookshelf in my office. "There! Now they won't get used and won't get broken." They've been sitting there for months now, cluttering up the bookshelf (that needs dusting) and mutely staring at me every time I look at them. Because, really, they are vases and their purpose is to hold flowers, not to clutter up a bookshelf, even if they are safe there. Sigh... So I put them back into the vase cupboard. Que sera sera. Nothing lasts forever and it's much lighter on the bookshelf now without those little vases nagging at me. Now, there's just some unread books... nagging at me...

I know that David Allen's Getting Things Done method suggests taking a stack of papers (recycled of course - and maybe cut into eights) and writing down every loose end, every incomplete task, every thing that needs doing on a separate piece of paper. You then take each piece of paper and decide on the next actionable step (small step) for that particular to-do item and then enter it into your to-do list or task manager or whatever. It's a fairly time intensive process and I've only ever done it once, but I hang onto bits and pieces of the system. I think, now that I know about the silent to-do list, I would likely have 100s of items on those little pieces of paper. A tad overwhelming but... if the yammering silent items actually got captured and processed onto a to-do list... maybe they wouldn't yammer so much. Or my mind wouldn't yammer so much.

And perhaps the real question isn't... when/how am I going to get this thing done... but rather, does this thing even really need to get done?

Does this massive book really need to get read? Or can I just let it go? But I might read it someday! Really?? Ya think? Well... maybe not. But I paid good money for it! So that's a good reason to keep it hogging space on the bookshelf and taking up space in your yammering mind? Sigh... maybe not. Perhaps I could sell them on Kijiji or Ebay? Oh, for Pete's sake! Think about it... do you really want to put that much effort into a book that might get you $10? Sigh... maybe not...

I don't think I'm quite ready to follow in Sasaki's footsteps, at least not to the extremes that he went to... but, I am moving in the direction of letting more things go. It can be done. If only to quite the yammering in my head!