Termites of Self-Doubt

Am I the only one who second guesses my decisions or choices? I can’t be the only one… but I think most of us tend to hide it well. I might project an aura of self-confidence and accomplishment but inside… really… I’m wracked by self-doubt and critical self-talk. You can’t always judge a book by its cover!

Self doubt

Here’s a good example… I’ve been doing a bunch of research over the last few months about health and well-being. Based on the scientific studies, I’ve gotten pretty clear that animal protein is bad for me… and that a whole-foods, plant-based diet is the best option. In mid-January, I committed to cutting the animal protein (meat, dairy, eggs) and embracing my inner herbivore. Decision made... but almost as soon as it is made... the termites of self-doubt start setting up shop.

Yesterday, there was a news article on CBC about a group of co-workers at a medical imaging lab in Vancouver who decided to embrace veganism for January. They have a fancy machine in their office that measures body fat (not just weight). At the end of the month, while most of the group had lost some weight, most of it was muscle… not fat. The question was: “Is veganism healthy?” Cue the self-doubt termite monster!

Now… there are all sorts of problems with the CBC article. First up, we have no idea what these vegan-guinea pigs actually ate during January. It could have been chips and pop for all we know. Most first-time vegan-wanna-be's end up crashing and burning. We tried being vegetarian for a year and it didn't go well. Making such a huge shift in nutrition requires a lot of preparation and planning. The UK's Daily Mail posted an article that included the grocery store purchases of several vegans. Surprise... they weren't the healthiest of purchases! Eating vegan does not mean eating healthy.

One vegan's grocery store purchases (several processed foods)
(From DailyMail)

But still... my self-doubt gnawed at me and I googled “veganism unhealthy”. Not a good idea. I was inundated with a bunch of anecdotal accounts and YouTube videos of how veganism was the worst thing ever! Ack!!

I began to question my own decision, a decision that was less than a month old. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m avoiding calling our eating plan “veganism” and prefer the term whole-food, plant-based. At this point, I’m not going to burst a gasket if there’s a bit of milk solids in my whole-grain naan bread rounds. I’m not expecting perfection. But still… our eating plan is pretty close to veganism… soooo… maybe this is not the thing for us? Maybe we should ease up and allow dairy and eggs? If I was a pacer, I’d be wearing a hole in our laminate floor with all my mulling over of options. It’s exhausting.

And then it spirals, and I think… “Well, shucks, that was kind of silly to start this blog and put myself out there and now I need to backtrack because everything I wrote was horse-puckies.”

See how quickly I can spiral down the toilet? I’m sucked into a maelstrom of indecision, self-doubt and second-guessing. I just want to toss everything out the window – baby bathwater and basin – and go back to the status quo.

I do remember a few things though… any eating plan can be unhealthy – whether you’re a carnivore, omnivore or herbivore. I’ve been wandering around the grocery store and the number of vegan-friendly processed meat/dairy/egg alternatives out there is extensive, and growing by leaps and bounds. Even Superstore is getting on the bandwagon. The thing is… these are still “processed foods” and if I’ve learned anything… it’s that processed foods are not exactly the healthiest foods in the cupboard. In fact, they can be just as bad as regular processed foods… or even worse.

There’s a vegan "cheese", for example, that is made out of coconut oil. We experimented with coconut oil for a year and... it did not end well. Our bad cholesterol levels went through the roof, which was no surprise given that coconut oil is 90% saturated fat. And despite what the coconut oil marketers will tell you... it ain’t good fat. Just go ask your nutritionist. Mine got seriously freaked out when she heard we were using coconut oil. There are better choices. But that's another blog post.

Anyhow… we are pretty clear that we are not jumping on the meat/dairy/eggs alternatives band-wagon. We are choosing a healthy, whole-foods, plant-based lifestyle. Whole-foods means foods that are minimally processed.

It also means ensuring that we are getting a variety of foods: whole grains, legumes, leafy green vegetables, cruciferous veggies, other veg, berries & other fruit, seeds & nuts.

It’s definitely a challenge, particularly when life is throwing a bunch of other stuff at you. The thing that’s saving our bacon right now is weekly meal-planning… lifesaver, but that too is another blog post.

I’ve come across a quote in the past which ran something like this: Even a wrong decision is better than no decision. At least with a wrong decision, we know what doesn't work and can then readjust and try something else. I’m proud of the decision we made to go whole-foods, plant-based. At least we made a decision for our health. If, in the future, it appears that this is not a good plan for our health... well... we can adjust course.

Time (and lab results) will tell if it was the healthiest decision. Stay-tuned.