Habits of Caring for Self

"Put your own oxygen mask on first, then help others." I don't know how many times I heard that line while I was caregiving for my Dad. Over and over again... "you have to take care of yourself otherwise you can't care for him". It is so true. And  yet so impossible.

Caregiver Burnout

My Dad had vascular dementia. For anyone who has journeyed with a person stricken by dementia... you know what I mean.

For me, it also wasn't a rewarding experience. It wasn't sunshine and butterflies. My Dad and I had a complex relationship. Growing up, he was never there for us when we were kids. Oh, he was occasionally "there" physically... but he definitely wasn't there emotionally.

I did my best to care for him, but the toll it took on me was huge. I also tried to take care of myself, I really did... but when the phone rang at 7:15 am and it was Home Support (saying they couldn't come) or Dad (all confused because Home Support had come)... meditation got put on the back burner.

It was a slow chipping away at my care for self. It got to the point where I would forget to brush my teeth in the mornings. Do that often enough, and you lose the habit of brushing teeth very quickly! Why is it that bad habits are soooooo easy to form while good habits are NOT?

I'm one of those people who do well with routine. I do best when I have a plan. I'm not one of those loosey-goosey airy-fairy... zodiacal Air signs. I am a serious, down to earth... zodiacal Earth sign. Anchored. Grounded. Solid. But during the whole care-giving experience, I lost that... I became untethered from routine, from what grounded me and floated through my days in an aimless fog.

My partner would ask me: "What do you need to do right now, for you?". And I couldn't answer the question. Not a clue. In hindsight, I can see the signs of caregiver burnout and it was nasty. My partner completely freaked out one evening when she learned that I had no plan for the next day. "What about your routine?!!" I looked at her wearily and admitted, "I don't HAVE a routine!". Sometimes the caregiver needs to be taken care of...

Slowly, I began to build a tiny bit of routine into my life. Get up, go for a quick walk, meditate, breakfast. If phone calls disrupted that... then get back on track after the disruption. It was hit or miss for a while. Cause, somehow, it's darn easy to get off-routine and sooo hard to get on-routine!

That's one thing I've learned... caring for self requires some discipline. It's not going to happen by itself. And it's not just having a bubble bath. It's doing the things that I KNOW ground me but that... somehow... are always the first things to fall by the wayside.

I KNOW that walking in the woods is good for me. It feeds my soul like nothing else and yet... even knowing that. I don't do it. WTF? Here's what goes on in my head:

Me: It's nice out. I should go for a walk in the woods.
Other Me: I don't have enough time.
Me: Of course there's enough time. It doesn't have to be long. 20 minutes even!
Other Me: It's too much work. I'd have to change my pants and put on my boots and drive 3 minutes...
Me: Seriously? Come on, you could take photos of pretty leaves in the sunshine...
Other Me: I'd feel like a slug. I haven't hiked for so long, I'd get out of breath.
Me: Well then, this is a good time to get started!
Other Me: What if the plumber phones or...
Me: Good grief!! That's what cell phones are for!
Other Me: I don't feel like it... I don't want to.... You can't make me...

 And on it goes... until the time really is GONE! And both of me are exhausted...

Here's the thing. I ALWAYS feel better after going for a walk. Always. Without fail. Even if I get out of breath. And yet... there's this hump of inertia that I just can't seem to get over...

Wikipedia - Activation energy with and without
a catalyst

It reminds me of Chemistry 11/12... I remember these charts that involved a catalyst to get over the hump that prevented a chemical reaction from taking place.

The hump is called "Activation Energy". See the black line... it's pretty darn high. But add a catalyst (red line) and it becomes much lower, so it takes less energy to get the reaction going.

That's kind of like me and walking. The Activation Energy is pretty high, and gets higher if I engage in a laborious decision-making process with myself. What could I do to lower the Activation Energy?

One option is to skip the whole decision-making process... and just make the walk part of my routine. It's then non-negotiable and just something that I do... Here's the morning routine I'm working with right now:

• Get dressed
• Brush teeth
• Take vitamins
• Feed cat
• Walk

I actually have a check-list in my day planner because honestly... it's soooo easy to skip some of these. Except for feeding the cat... that really is non-negotiable. The other things are not well-ingrained habits for me and so every evening, I write out the list so it's front and centre for me the next morning. I don't necessarily look at the list because I can remember what comes next. Except... here's the thing... "Feed cat" is not written down and yet it always happens, without fail. Interesting--must reflect on that some more...

Another trick I could use is to lay out my walking clothes in the bathroom the night before. If I lay them out... then it becomes much easier to actually put them on. If I don't put them out, then I automatically get out of bed, grab my regular pants and put them on. Then, if I want to walk, I have added a decision point. "Oh, I've put on my regular pants. I wanted to go for a walk. Ah, it's too much trouble to change pants." Seriously... this is what goes on in my head. I haven't reduced the Activation Energy... I've actually increased it!

Finally, I make the "walk" as tiny as possible... at least while I'm in the house. A 20 minute walk seems overwhelmingly long, so I tell myself: "Just get dressed and go for a 5 minute walk." That's a tiny walk, and I'm more likely to say: "Okkkkaaaayyyyy.... fiiiinnnneeee." Once I'm out the door and walking though, over that Activation Energy hump, I usually go for much longer and 20 minutes becomes a snap. 

The trick is to make going for a walk as dummy-proof as possible with as few decision points as possible. Decisions take energy and increase that Activation Energy. Better to eliminate as many as possible. I don't have to think about what to wear because it's right there waiting for me. I don't have to think about what vitamins to take, because they're already all portioned out in one of those day-of-the-week dispensers. I don't have to think about what to do next... because I have the checklist in my head. I don't have to wrestle with the duration of the walk because it's set up to be small and doable (5 minutes).

Now, if I were to think of any of those things as "optional" then it becomes easy to skip them. Trust me... I know this. We went away for a couple of weeks and when we got back... my morning routine was no longer a habit. For the last month, I've been struggling to get back on track and... while I am always feeding the cat... I am still not going for a morning walk.

It's no wonder. I'm treating it like it's "optional". I'm not laying out my walking clothes the night before. I'm not telling myself "Just 5 minutes". Sooo... this is a bit of an insight for me. I didn't really know how this blog was going to play out, I just started writing. And I've got a clue as to why the morning walk isn't happening. I'm going to take my own advice and put these tips into practice tonight. The morning walk is now non-negotiable. I'm going to lay out my walking clothes in the bathroom tonight... and plan for a 5 minute walk in the morning. These are all Small Steps in moving me in the direction of health and wellness... Wish me luck!

Books, Books and More Books

I love books. I'm not going to call myself an addict but... I really, really love books.

My love affair with books started when I was a kid. For the longest time, I kept one of my favourites... I am a Bunny by Ole Risom with illustrations by Richard Scarry.

It was quite tattered and apparently 3-year-old-me thought Nicholas the Bunny needed glasses because on each page, I drew a set of glasses on him. Not sure why... since no one in my family wore glasses, least of all me! But there you go... don't give a kid a book and a pen...

When I entered grade school, I was introduced to the wonderful world of Scholastic Book Services.

Favourite horse stories

Oh my goodness... the flyers and order forms would get handed out at school in the fall and spring and I would peruse all the offerings and make my selections - usually animal stories... particularly horse stories. I still have three of my favourites: Old Bones: the Wonder Horse, Blitz and Blanco: The Legend of the White Stallion.

But Scholastic Book Services cost money and so my Mom introduced me to the public library. Whoa... soooo many books! At the time, our public library had a super cool kids section. It was a big room that was almost two stories high. A set of stairs led to an upper level which was a balcony that ran around three sides of the room. There were books up top and... the area underneath the balcony was made of up of several shallow cave-like chambers. The ceiling was so low that adults had to duck down to get into each chamber. There were book shelves on three sides of each chamber and... it was the coolest thing ever for a kid... an Aladdin's cave of undiscovered treasure.

I would usually totter out of the library with a massive stack of books and gobble them up over the next week or two. Loved the library.

At the same time... I was a relatively easy kid when it came to Christmas and birthdays... just buy me books: Hardy Boys, Fury of Broken Wheel Ranch, anything by Rutherford Montgomery, The Black Stallion...

Library card catalogue - how times have changed

As I moved through the education system, I dabbled in the school libraries... also good, but not as memorable... and then came university.

I loved the twisting rabbit-warrens of UBC's Main Library stacks but the university library didn't really stock a lot of fiction (unless it was 100+ years old!).

While attending UBC, I never got connected with the the Vancouver Public Library system. I think I went there once and requested a library card. Turns out that people living in UBC dorms were not considered Vancouver tax-payers sooo... no pay taxes, no get library card.

It became a bit of a moot point because I started earning some money and was able to feed my book appetite. Science fiction... westerns... mysteries... history novels... I acquired my own library at home.

The only problem was... I moved a lot... on average once every year... and after a while, packing up all those books became a chore. Not to mention I was running out of bookshelf space. And so I'd regularly declutter my books. I don't have my Cadfael books anymore. Nor my Dick Francis, Sharpe, Ramage, Pern, Star Trek, Stainless Steel Rat, Anne Perry or Louis L'Amour books. I still bought and read a lot of books... I just didn't keep them for very long. Kind of... errr... disposable convenience... ***cough*** (The irony of this is not lost on me...).

After a while, my book-buying habit became a bit expensive. Books aren't exactly cheap... a novel nowadays costs around $20. I used to travel a lot and passing through an airport was dangerous for me. I'd wander through the Virgin or Relay bookstores behind security and easily see a dozen books that looked super interesting. Even though I had at least two or three books with me, I would usually end up buying another one or two.

Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten about libraries... but not really. I completed online applications for a library card in Prince George and, later, in Calgary... but I never set foot in the actual buildings and definitely never borrowed a book. I had gotten out of the library habit and established a book-buying habit. Which was fine when I had enough disposable cash to satisfy my book cravings... but not so fine when we went on a year-long sabbatical and found ourselves on a budget.

One of MANY Bookie Monsters out there

My book-buying was cut off and I went into serious book-withdrawal. I became the Cookie Monster of books - The Bookie Monster. [Believe it or not... I thought I had come up with something new and cool with that little rhyme but... Bookie Monster is already a "thing"!]

I bought an e-book reader, figuring that e-books were easier to schlep around and less expensive but... honestly... reading an e-book is not the same as a real book. And e-books, even though they are cheaper than real books, are not exactly "cheap".

I discovered AbeBooks - an online bookstore where I could buy second-hand books from all over the world. Better, but still not great... not for someone with as voracious an appetite as myself.

During our sabbatical, we moved to the Island and... at that point... I rediscovered the public library. A whole new world opened up. I was amazed to discover that libraries have come a loonnnnggg way since the days of card catalogues and microfiche.

Everything is online... even inter-library loans... It's super-convenient and utterly magical. Our library system is even more magical because it's a regional library. We have three physical libraries in our city, but they are not the be all and end all. There are three dozen libraries in other communities that feed our regional library. That's a lot of books. And it's so easy... go online, search for the book I'm interested in and request it be delivered to my local branch. Bing. Done. The book gets delivered... sometimes within a few days... other times... a few months.

Cover - Atomic Habits
by James Clear

That's the only thing... getting books via the library requires patience. This is not going to feed the instant gratification monster within me. Because even though we have 36+ library branches... other people have discovered the library too and the hold lists can be long. Particularly if the book is new and hot.

For example, I put a hold on Atomic Habits (James Clear) a few weeks/months back. I had seen it in an airport bookstore and took a picture of the cover (my new habit) and then added it to my "To Read" list. When I got home, I requested it via the library. Except our library system "only" has 12 copies... and there are 119 holds... of which I am #37... sigh... Patience, Young Grasshopper, patience.

On the other hand, receiving an email from the library informing me that a book I've been waiting for is ready to be picked up... ooohhh... it's like Christmas!! I can't wait to scamper to the library and bring the book home and start reading.

I use the hold system with gusto... I currently have nine books on hold. The only thing is... sometimes a bunch of them come in at around the same time and I find myself dealing with an over-abundance of riches. I generally tend to have more than one book on the go at any one time but... even I can get overwhelmed by the pressure of reading four or five books in three weeks. I am learning to rein in my book ordering bug...

There is one more thing that I like about the library... I know that getting a book through the library means it's going to be a well-used book. It's going to be read by more than one set of eyes (mine). When I buy a book from the bookstore... I will often only read it once and then let it go by donating it to a thrift store. It might get read again... or maybe not. Thrift store bookshelves do NOT use the Dewey Decimal system... and trying to find a specific book is like hunting for the proverbial needle in a haystack... with no guarantee that the needle you are seeking is even IN the haystack! Given how many books get donated to thrift stores... it's only understandable that at some point... books end up going to the landfill.

You see... books are incredibly hard to recycle due to the glue in the binding. Our city's recycling system accepts magazines, catalogues and phone books (ummm... glue in binding?) but not paperbacks or hardcovers. I know that some cities accept paperback books for recycling but not if they have ever gotten wet or if the paper has turned brown. This is a bit of a problem... and so I am trying to emphasize the Reduce and Reuse aspects of "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle".

I still buy the occasional new physical book but only when I absolutely CANNOT wait for it and expect to use it long-term. I do buy e-books a bit more frequently and I still get some second-hand books via AbeBooks. If I'm going to buy books though, most of them come via thrift stores or garage sales. They are cheap and I don't feel bad about reading them and letting them go again, back into the pool of second-hand books from whence they came. But... ultimately... the library is my biggest source of reading material.

The 2018 value of our library cards

The Board of our regional library has an annual report in which, amongst other things, they report on the "value of a library card".

In 2018, based on the number of users and the value of materials borrowed... the average value of a library card was $661.

That number intrigued me and I once counted up the number of books I borrowed in a year and my value was well over $800. That's $800 that stayed in my pocket!

In many ways... getting books from the library ticks a bunch of boxes.

• It's good for me and my finances (more books available to read; less money spent on books, less square footage devoted to book storage, less hassle moving, teaches me patience).
• It's good for the environment (more reads/book).
• It's good for my community (more library patrons=bigger budget=more books).
• It might, however, not be so good for authors (less books sold).

I haven't even touched on all the other services offered through our local library: DVDs, CDs, audio books, magazines, podcasts, online language courses, research services, internet access, study space etc, etc... Heck, our library even has a puzzle table where there is always a 1000 piece puzzle on the go... cool! And it's all... FREE!***

For me, reconnecting with the pubic library system is one small step in living sustainably. It might not be as convenient as ordering a book via Amazon Prime but... I'll trade that for sustainable living... in this instance at least!


***Well... as long as you are a resident of the city in which the library is located. Which means somewhere along the line you are paying property taxes which then go toward supporting your local library. So not really "free" but... why not max out as much value from property taxes as possible by wringing out as much use from the library as possible!

Wiping out on Oil's Slippery Slope

Relax, Alberta, this post ain't about petroleum oil! I'm talkin' about the stuff we suck into our bodies with gusto - fat, grease, cooking oil, liquid gold. It's a pretty hot topic and if you follow the news at all, you might know that dietary fat has a complex history. One year, fat is good for you, essential to our body functioning well. The next year, fat is bad. No... wait... there's good fat.... and then there's bad fat. Saturated... unsaturated... polyunsaturated... trans... it's enough to make my head spin. I've even heard that it was the sugar industry in the 1950s that painted fat as the bad guy. You know... dietary fat makes you fat. But now we hear that sugar is the bad guy and fat is... the good guy?

There is a LOT of information out there... and a lot of it is misinformation. Here's a tale of our little foray into the world of dietary fat... based on information gleaned from... wait for it... Pinterest! I should mention here that I, personally, ahem, am NOT on Pinterest sooo...

Coconut oil

A few years ago, my partner tried to convince me that coconut oil was the latest dietary thing. It was a miracle working wonder that was "good" for you while the high temp cooking oils like canola, sunflower and peanut were "bad" for you. I was... skeptical... to say the least. I knew that coconut oil was extremely high in saturated fats (very bad) and that seed oils were low in saturated fats (good). We had a bit of a tussle over this where she would use coconut oil for cooking while I would use canola oil.

I had had a brush with high-cholesterol in 2000 and did not want to repeat history. Going on a reduced fat diet was no fun... good-bye cookies... hello fig newtons. Mmmm... (not).

A year ago, my partner introduced the idea of also using Ghee for cooking. Ghee is basically clarified butter that can be used for high-temp cooking. Apparently it's a thing in Ayurvedic recipes. Let's face it, Ghee is not much better than coconut oil... but it is slightly better. My partner can be quite persuasive and... I caved. Fine... we'll try the coconut oil and Ghee although my arteries cringed every time I saw the stuff slithering around in the frying pan.

My LDL cholesterol levels over the last few years. See spike
over last year? Thank you coconut oil & ghee.

Cue my latest blood results this fall - cholesterol had jumped dramatically... like dramatically! I also appeared to be struggling with a bout of IBS and my doctor referred me to a dietician at the hospital's outpatient clinic. We had a conversation about low FODMAP foods (ick)... and about fats and oils. The dietician was frankly appalled to hear that we were using coconut oil and Ghee. She said that any sautee-ing of vegetables should be done with the thinnest skiff of oil, and then supplemented with judicious amounts of water (not too much at once). I told her she was preaching to the choir but... what to do...

In truth, it was worse than that just coconut oil and Ghee. You see... in late September, my partner saw a sports medicine guy about her chronic pain and he recommended that she go on an 8 week detox diet aimed at reducing inflammation in her body. Great! It was basically a modified version of a Keto/Paleo diet which meant... cut the sugar and grains and eat as much meat, eggs, dairy and fat as you can.

Ummm... really? My arteries cringed some more. But this guy was a lean runner and... he said his cholesterol was high too and... look at him.. trim and fit. Eeeeshhh...

So we followed the detox. And... to be fair... we did feel better - more energy, lost some weight. But, towards the end of the 8 weeks, my partner got her blood work done and... can you guess? Yep, her cholesterol was high as well (including the LDL - the bad cholesterol). Our family doctor calculated her risk of heart attack and... it was high enough to be scary. No wonder... her breakfast of choice during the 8 weeks had been a crust-less quiche stuffed with cheese, bacon, ham and some veggies.

How Not To Diet - Michael Greger

And then... over Christmas, I read a blog which highlighted ten key takeaways from a new book: How not to Diet by Dr. Michael Gregger. The key points were fascinating and we bought the book. It is not for the faint of heart - over 600 pages with thousands of footnotes. We've been reading it out loud and are just past halfway but... already we have some new insights.

For one, my partner has now admitted that perhaps Pinterest and it's associated links are not the best source of dietary information. Excellent. She has also agreed to cut out the coconut oil and Ghee. Sorry Pinterest and Ayurveda... saturated fats are bad news. Coconut oil has more saturated fat than lard (think Crisco)... And, yes, I've heard the story that medium-chain-fatty acids in coconut oil "may" raise good cholesterol (HDL). Jury is still out on whether those actually survive the processing of coconuts to coconut oil. I can also tell you that my blood results do not support this assertion. But that's just me... oh, and my partner... cause her blood results were bad too.

The thing is... seed oils have their own issues. Almost all seed oils are extracted in a chemical process using hexane which is carcinogenic. Well, that's not good, is it? And while olive oil is held up as a shining light of health... there's more to that story too. There's the first press of the olives which is called "cold pressed" and that is the best. After that, each successive pressing (second and third) uses heat and the quality of extracted oil goes down. The dietician had mentioned this when I first met with her in October. "Read the label carefully" she said. "Make sure it says cold-pressed." Oh, and we all know that olive oil should NOT be used for high temp cooking. Right?

Sautéing onions without oil... just water.

On top of all of that... the coconut oil craze has incentivized farmers in the tropics (SE Asia) to plant more and more coconut trees. And where does the land from these expanding plantations come from? One guess. Yep, cutting down local forests and planting coconut trees. This doesn't sound all that different from the problems with palm oil plantations. And let's not even talk about the environmental cost of shipping coconuts and coconut oil around the planet.

So, yes... we've ditched the Ghee and the coconut oil. As well as the seed oils. The other day, I tried sautéing onions with water and... hot darn if it didn't work like a charm. What the heck?

It's all a bit of a grand experiment with us as little guinea pigs. Will any of this make a difference in our cholesterol numbers? Cutting out the coconut oil and the ghee. Backing away from the animal proteins. Time will tell...

Hot-Chocolate-Free for a Year

Celebratory fireworks

High-five me!

I did it!!

Today marks Day 366 of freedom from my hot-chocolate addiction.

I tell ya, there were some days in the beginning where I thought I'd never make it... Seriously. Cause I had tried to kick the habit soooo many times in the past and always failed.

And yet... here we are...

My Kryptonite...
Starbucks hot chocolate

To be truthful, as this date was approaching, I had toyed with the idea of having a celebratory hot chocolate today but... as I sit here... I wonder, why would I do that to myself?

It would be like playing a Snakes and Ladders game and, just as I land on Square 100... a trapdoor opens and I find a snake head there... and schwoooopppp... I'm right back to Square 1 or Square 20 or whatever...

Nah... not willing to go there.

I'd be trading 20 or 30 minutes of blissful sipping for... possibly hours/days/weeks/months of regret and struggle.

So I'll sit here with my nose a few inches from the screen and virtually have a sip of this hot chocolate and... that's it.

Termites of Self-Doubt

Am I the only one who second guesses my decisions or choices? I can’t be the only one… but I think most of us tend to hide it well. I might project an aura of self-confidence and accomplishment but inside… really… I’m wracked by self-doubt and critical self-talk. You can’t always judge a book by its cover!

Self doubt

Here’s a good example… I’ve been doing a bunch of research over the last few months about health and well-being. Based on the scientific studies, I’ve gotten pretty clear that animal protein is bad for me… and that a whole-foods, plant-based diet is the best option. In mid-January, I committed to cutting the animal protein (meat, dairy, eggs) and embracing my inner herbivore. Decision made... but almost as soon as it is made... the termites of self-doubt start setting up shop.

Yesterday, there was a news article on CBC about a group of co-workers at a medical imaging lab in Vancouver who decided to embrace veganism for January. They have a fancy machine in their office that measures body fat (not just weight). At the end of the month, while most of the group had lost some weight, most of it was muscle… not fat. The question was: “Is veganism healthy?” Cue the self-doubt termite monster!

Now… there are all sorts of problems with the CBC article. First up, we have no idea what these vegan-guinea pigs actually ate during January. It could have been chips and pop for all we know. Most first-time vegan-wanna-be's end up crashing and burning. We tried being vegetarian for a year and it didn't go well. Making such a huge shift in nutrition requires a lot of preparation and planning. The UK's Daily Mail posted an article that included the grocery store purchases of several vegans. Surprise... they weren't the healthiest of purchases! Eating vegan does not mean eating healthy.

One vegan's grocery store purchases (several processed foods)
(From DailyMail)

But still... my self-doubt gnawed at me and I googled “veganism unhealthy”. Not a good idea. I was inundated with a bunch of anecdotal accounts and YouTube videos of how veganism was the worst thing ever! Ack!!

I began to question my own decision, a decision that was less than a month old. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m avoiding calling our eating plan “veganism” and prefer the term whole-food, plant-based. At this point, I’m not going to burst a gasket if there’s a bit of milk solids in my whole-grain naan bread rounds. I’m not expecting perfection. But still… our eating plan is pretty close to veganism… soooo… maybe this is not the thing for us? Maybe we should ease up and allow dairy and eggs? If I was a pacer, I’d be wearing a hole in our laminate floor with all my mulling over of options. It’s exhausting.

And then it spirals, and I think… “Well, shucks, that was kind of silly to start this blog and put myself out there and now I need to backtrack because everything I wrote was horse-puckies.”

See how quickly I can spiral down the toilet? I’m sucked into a maelstrom of indecision, self-doubt and second-guessing. I just want to toss everything out the window – baby bathwater and basin – and go back to the status quo.

I do remember a few things though… any eating plan can be unhealthy – whether you’re a carnivore, omnivore or herbivore. I’ve been wandering around the grocery store and the number of vegan-friendly processed meat/dairy/egg alternatives out there is extensive, and growing by leaps and bounds. Even Superstore is getting on the bandwagon. The thing is… these are still “processed foods” and if I’ve learned anything… it’s that processed foods are not exactly the healthiest foods in the cupboard. In fact, they can be just as bad as regular processed foods… or even worse.

There’s a vegan "cheese", for example, that is made out of coconut oil. We experimented with coconut oil for a year and... it did not end well. Our bad cholesterol levels went through the roof, which was no surprise given that coconut oil is 90% saturated fat. And despite what the coconut oil marketers will tell you... it ain’t good fat. Just go ask your nutritionist. Mine got seriously freaked out when she heard we were using coconut oil. There are better choices. But that's another blog post.

Anyhow… we are pretty clear that we are not jumping on the meat/dairy/eggs alternatives band-wagon. We are choosing a healthy, whole-foods, plant-based lifestyle. Whole-foods means foods that are minimally processed.

It also means ensuring that we are getting a variety of foods: whole grains, legumes, leafy green vegetables, cruciferous veggies, other veg, berries & other fruit, seeds & nuts.

It’s definitely a challenge, particularly when life is throwing a bunch of other stuff at you. The thing that’s saving our bacon right now is weekly meal-planning… lifesaver, but that too is another blog post.

I’ve come across a quote in the past which ran something like this: Even a wrong decision is better than no decision. At least with a wrong decision, we know what doesn't work and can then readjust and try something else. I’m proud of the decision we made to go whole-foods, plant-based. At least we made a decision for our health. If, in the future, it appears that this is not a good plan for our health... well... we can adjust course.

Time (and lab results) will tell if it was the healthiest decision. Stay-tuned.

The Price of Animal Protein

Environmental Impact of the Livestock Industry

Livestock farming produces more greenhouse gas emissions than the entire transportation sector (planes, train, ships, cars).

When I read that in a scientific report, I was stunned. The biggest difference I could make in helping the planet was not by trading in our fossil fuel vehicle for an electrical vehicle. No, the biggest difference would be cutting out animal protein - not just meat, but dairy and eggs as well.

I struggled with that. As a carnivore, I've been in a constant state of negotiation the last few months. Maybe we could cut out meat and keep dairy and eggs? Maybe?

The thing is... it's not just the greenhouse gas emissions... it's the amount of water used, it's the pollution generated and... it's the health impacts on humans as well.

• 30% of the planet's ice-free surface is used for livestock production - that includes all the land used to raise feed crops for livestock.
• 75% of the world's agricultural land is devoted to livestock production
• 40% of the planet's fresh water is used in livestock production. One kilogram of beef requires 15,000 litres of water. That one hamburger from A&W used 2000 litres of water.
• The average American eats 240 lbs of meat/year. The average Bangladeshi eats 4 lbs of meat/year. The global average is 80 lbs/year.
• All of those resources produce only 18% of the calories that we eat

This is huge... but I could try and argue that we need protein soooo... it's a necessary evil? Nope... that one is shot out of the water as well. Most of us exceed the daily recommended allowance of protein. In fact, only 3% of Americans have a protein-deficiency. Most of us get more than enough... in fact... most of us get more than enough JUST from eating the plant-based foods in our diet. Yup, plants contain protein... and if we eat a moderately balanced diet... even without animal protein... a protein deficiency is not the problem.

Meat is the new Tobacco

The real kicker for me was to learn this little tidbit which often gets buried under a bunch of misinformation from American lobby groups (cattlemen's association, dairy farmers, egg producers...). Ready?

Eating animal protein has been linked to higher incidence of:

• heart disease (clogged arteries)
• diabetes (surprise... sugar is not the primary culprit)
• cancer (including breast, colorectal and prostate)
• osteoporosis (go figure)
• infertility (erectile dysfunction is one of the biggest indicators of heart disease)
• obesity (wow)

And it's not just because some meat is high in saturated fat. Oh no... it's the actual animal protein and the heme iron contained in animal protein. So "lean" meat like chicken doesn't sidestep this argument... nor do dairy or egg products. Basically, eating animal protein (from whatever source) increases inflammation and cholesterol in the body. And processed meat is exceedingly bad (bacon, hotdogs, salami, ham, etc. - sigh, good-bye salami).

That woke me up because I'm dealing with high cholesterol. I was cutting out red meat because it was high in saturated fat. And watching what oil we used for cooking. But... if I really want to get a grip on it... I'm going to have to step up my game. Cause there is no way I want to go on a statin... they've got serious issues.

And so... I say goodbye to animal proteins. I had planned to "eat the freezer" and clear out the chicken, ribs and sausages that we had purchased before our light bulb moment. But at this point... I really don't think that's in my best interests. So we are going to canvas our friends and see if they want to have any of our disease-generating animal protein.

My LDL over the last 5 years - vertical axis is:
Low - Mean - High - scary zone

At the end of September, my cholesterol numbers were as follows:

• Total Cholesterol - 7.1 (normal is 2.00 to 5.19)
• LDL Cholesterol - 4.98 (normal is 1.50-3.40 - this is the bad cholesterol)
• HDL Cholesterol - 1.48 (normal is > 1.19 - this is the good cholesterol)
• Trigylcerides - 1.40 (normal is < 2.21)

I'm going to get tested again at the end of February because... you see... their is some good news and hope in all of this. The human body is an amazing thing and... people have reduced their cholesterol significantly after just one week on a whole-food plant-based diet. I'm going to give it a bit longer than that... just to add some buffer.

Canada's latest food guide - looks different, eh?

I told my doctor that we are moving towards a plant-based diet and reducing/eliminating meat consumption and he rolled his eyes at that. He argues that the only diet shown to have a benefit is the Mediterranean diet. That's fine... but I also spoke with my nutritionist at the hospital and she heartily supports the plant-based diet. Given that most doctors get less than 8 hours of nutrition education... I think I'll go with the nutritionist on this one.


I'm kind of amazed at the realisation that eliminating animal protein from our diet can benefit:

• our health - heart disease, diabetes, cancer, osteoporosis, etc
• the planet's health - land degradation, water, pollution, greenhouse gas emissions
• animals - at least 480 lbs (240 lbs x 2) worth out of the 50 billion animals killed every year
• our pocketbook - meat is darn expensive... especially the healthier cuts

That seems like a triple WIN to me... I realize that we are just two people but... that is two Small Steps in a different direction. Our capitalist society runs on supply and demand... Usually, the marketing boffins convince us that we need to increase our demand of whatever thing they are supplying/selling... But what if we actually made a different choice and reduced our demand. Theoretically this is a two-way street and we can make a difference... Remember...

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. (Margaret Mead)

And... stay tuned for my updated blood work at the end of the month.


P.S. While our whole-foods (NOT processed), plant-based diet may look vegan, I'm not calling it vegan. There is a lot of stuff that is attached to that word... do we have leather shoes, belts, notebooks, couches? And there are a lot of people out there happy to act as the Vegan Police and point out all sorts of offenses and slip-ups...

P.P.S. What about iron, vitamin B12, Omega-3 and other possible nutritional deficiencies? Stay-tuned for another blog post. I will leave you with this tidbit... Remember that only 3% of Americans have a protein deficiency? Well 97% of Americans have a fiber deficiency... and fiber is only found in plants... and is essential for our little gut biome... but that too is another blog post!

Disposable Convenience

You already know about my Starbucks hot chocolate addiction... so I might as well make another confession. My morning routine of yore was to go to Starbucks with my laptop, order my hot chocolate, find a table with a nearby electrical outlet and work for several hours.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Except... I always ordered my hot chocolate in a disposable cup. Even when they specifically asked me if I wanted it in a mug. Worse... they would sometimes ask... "is that for here, or to go"... and I would blatantly LIE and say... "uh... to go". Just so I could get a disposable cup. Despite the fact that I could save $0.10 if I got my hot chocolate in a porcelain mug. Why so attached to the disposable cup?

Because my hot chocolate stayed hotter longer in a disposable cup than in a porcelain mug. That's it... I like my hot chocolate hot... not cold. So I lied...

But I wasn't fooling anyone... The Starbucks baristas aren't dumb... they know me... they know that I never just "go"... I always stay and sit. My chronic lying nibbled away at my conscience...

Travel mug

I tried to bring my own travel mug... but the first few I tried were the wrong size for a Grande beverage (16 oz). All of the travel mugs in our cupboard were for a Tall beverage (12 oz). Obviously, there was no way I could downsize to a Tall Hot Chocolate. I mean... it's marginally cheaper but not 25% cheaper... and it's 25% smaller. Hmph! I also wasn't going to buy a new Grande travel mug from Starbucks because... well... they are expensive.

I know this is illogical and oxymoron-ish but... that's the convoluted twistings of my guilty sugar-addled brain trying to justify itself!

Sooo... I continually lied or fudged or... whatever... and kept ordering my hot chocolate in a disposable cup. Until... one day at a thrift store... I found a Grande sized travel mug (Starbucks branded no less). Hallelujah! My guilty conscience was assuaged. I proudly trotted to Starbucks the next morning with my mug tucked into my backpack. Clear conscience... hot Hot chocolate! Win-win! Yay!

That worked for... ohhhh... one day...

You see... when you get home, you need to remember to take your mug out of your backpack and then wash it. And then you need to remember to pack it up the next morning and... that didn't happen. My attempts at "bring your own mug" were not a success. And my illicit affair with the disposable cup continued. It was convenient. Bring my own mug was inconvenient. And convenience won, every time.

Starbucks recycle system

I could easily try justifying myself...

"Those disposable cups get recycled. See, Starbucks has a recycling system."
Not. Have you ever seen customers put things in those convenient holes in the Starbucks blue bin? Most people either can't read or are moving too fast to stop long enough to figure out what goes where. And... have you ever seen the baristas take those bags to a recycle dumpster? I hang around long enough at Starbucks to see what goes on. No... those clear bags of "recyclables" get taken to the garbage dumpster. There is no recycle dumpster - just garbage... and cardboard.

"Maybe they get sorted at the dump."
Seriously?! And even if they did... disposable cups are lined with a thin film of plastic. Very difficult to recycle.

"Everybody else is doing it."
Very true. But just because everybody is into harming the environment, doesn't mean I have to be.

Starbucks sign - Save the Turtles

One of the Starbucks I frequent has a staff member who is a committed environmentalist. They have chalkboard signs up all over the place encouraging the use of "for here" mugs or BYO travel mug. Back in my disposable cup era... I would walk by these signs saying "Save the turtles. Get a for-here mug".

And I would walk by these signs... ignore the beseeching eyes of the turtle... and STILL order my hot chocolate in a disposable cup.

But all is not lost. When I ditched the hot chocolate habit a year ago... I also ditched the disposable cup habit. I'm not such a rabid chai tea aficionado that I really care if my tea stays hot or cold. In fact, it's kind of good for it to cool quickly cause their hot water dispenser is scorching!

I do wonder though... I have gone to a local coffee shop where the default is a porcelain mug. You specifically have to request a "to go" cup. At Starbucks, if they don't ask you... the default is disposable cups. What if the default was not disposable? Interesting idea...

Vintage refillable lighter

And so, I sit here, sipping my tea out of a porcelain mug, proud of this one Small Step in reducing wasteful consumption. I look at the world differently though... I view things through a different lens, a lens that sees the fusing of convenience and disposability. Here's a quick list of items which feature disposable convenience... is there a solution?

• Kleenex - cloth handkerchiefs?
• disposable diapers - cloth diapers? I still have the diaper pail my Mom used!
• BIC lighters - anyone remember refillable metal lighters?
• paper towels - rags?
• paper plates - regular plates? Melmac plates?
• plastic cutlery - regular cutlery? bamboo cutlery?
• Keurig pods - I'm not a coffee drinker but... regular drip coffee maker? French press?
• plastic water bottles - bring your own metal water bottle? There are a tonne at thrift stores...
• WetWipes - regular toilet paper? I know that TP is convenient and disposable but even I have a line... trust me, leaves don't work very well... And I'm not sure using rags would work... but who knows.
• plastic bags - oooohhhh.... that's a can of worms - let's just say... those reusable grocery bags that rip after less than a year of use are not the best solution (more in another blog post)
• fast food - is there a solution? A&W at least offers chilled glass mugs if you eat-in...

And there's probably a tonne more. And yes... some of these will require more from us: more washing up... more laundry... more cooking... more work... more planning... more thought.

As I stare at this list... of which I am a serial offender... I realize I face multiple choice points in a day. Every time I reach for a Kleenex or paper towel... I make a choice. A choice for convenience. I could argue that Kleenex and paper towel are compostable... but that doesn't negate the fact that trees were cut down to make these paper products... and bleached to make them super white. I also know that regular cotton production is extremely hard on the environment.

Starbucks porcelain mug

Are there alternatives? Organic cotton? Bamboo? Hemp? Linen? A quick Google reveals that... goodness... there are options out there! Who knew there were hemp hankies?

More research required... this blog is already long enough.

I leave you with a picture of a Starbucks porcelain mug... my one Small Step towards making a difference...

My Struggle with Addiction

Every morning, I wake up and I feel it. The craving. And I think... maybe I could have just one. That's it... just one. That's not so bad, is it? The thing is... I've been around the block often enough to have learned a thing or two about my addiction. There ain't no middle ground. It's either all or nothing. When it comes to this drug... I fall in the Abstainer camp rather than the Moderator camp. What's the drug? A luscious white powder... chemical formula... C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁... commonly known as sugar.

Pure powdered refined sugar

Yep... I'm a tried and true sugar addict and my preferred method of delivery is liquid sugar. Although... in a pinch, I won't say "no" to a chocolate fudge brownie... or an Eat-More bar.

Growing up, I don't remember being a massive sugar monster, although my Mom might have different recollections.

Oh... wait... now that I think on it.... **cough**

I do recall sneaking into Mom's baking cupboard when she wasn't around and pilfering squares of baking chocolate. Even the semi-sweet stuff. Oops, forgot about that.

So maybe there was some writing on the wall back then.

Coke - the Real Thing

Things really took off when I went to university. I developed a taste for Coke (the drink... not the other stuff). I'd have a Coke in the afternoon after classes... There's nothing like that moment when you crack the tab on a can of Coke and smell that first heady rush of released air. Oh... and the first sip... priceless! Sooo soothing and relaxing.

But... slowly, over time, my first sip of Coke would get earlier and earlier in the day. And then I'd end up having two Cokes a day... and it would get earlier still. Soon enough, I was having three or four cans of Coke a day, starting at 8:30 am.

Every once in a while, I'd tell myself to get a grip and I would go cold turkey. I'd suffer through the headaches (double whammy of sugar/caffeine withdrawal) for five days and then I'd be good for a few weeks.

Inevitably, I would think... "I'll just have one this afternoon". And the cycle would begin anew. Rinse and repeat... for years. I knew that Coke was bad for me and I tried to quit numerous times... but it always worked its way back under my skin. "I'll just have one."

And then, miracle of miracles... on 7 July 2009, I went cold turkey again. This time it stuck. A week went by... then two weeks... a month... two months and... slowly the craving abated. I could walk by a vending machine and not twitch with desire. I had kicked the Coke habit! I was pretty proud of myself.

Starbucks Hot Chocolate - pure bliss
(more on disposal cups in
another blog post)

But... yep, there's always a but... I had formed a new habit. I had moved to Calgary in the spring of 2019 and transitioned to a new work-from-home job. I began riding my bike around the Glenmore Reservoir and discovered a Starbucks at the half-way point. I'd pack my laptop into my backpack, cycle to the Starbucks and get a bunch of work done. These little adventures ticked a few boxes: get some exercise... get out of the house... have a change of scenery. Win-win-win!

There was just a tiny, little hiccup. I felt guilty just sitting there, using Starbucks wi-fi and not buying anything... I needed to find a drink. Never having developed a taste for coffee (ewww) or tea (ick)... I settled on hot chocolate. Not just any chocolate, a Grande Hot Chocolate with whipped cream and mocha drizzle. Oh... yum...

My little sugar-addicted synapses were dancing a happy jig and my new form of sugar addiction was born. Oh yes, I'd try to quit hot chocolate every once in a while and... well... same story as with the Coke. Not much success. Although I never did get up to three hot chocolates a day... two was my worst!

Dec/Jan 2017/18 attempts to kick
hot chocolate (check marks good,
red x's are bad)

My fasting blood sugar levels started to creep up... and I tried to get a grip, but I was still flirting with the pre-diabetic danger zone. Time and again... I'd go cold turkey... or try moderation - "I'll only have 3 hot chocolates/week"... but nothing worked.

The longest I made it was 21 days and then I caved. These collapses of intention and will-power were usually associated with some stressful event in my life. Things would get stressy... and I needed comfort or a reward. I'd rush off to Starbucks for a hit of hot chocolate. It was soothing... it was calming... at least for an hour or so.

The other thing that I noticed was... hot chocolate ain't cheap. Coke is a cheap drug ($0.11/100 ml)... hot chocolate not so much ($1.00/100 ml). Try spending $3.65/day for at least 20 days a month and... that's almost $80/mo or almost $1000/yr. Not to mention the price of hot chocolate kept going up!

Oh, and let's not even talk about calories. Coke has a miniscule 140 calories/can (355 ml). Starbucks hot chocolate clocks in at 400 calories/grande cup (473 ml). I really hadn't improved things when I quit Coke and upgraded to hot chocolate! Although... when you consider that I used to get up to 3 cans of Coke a day... 140x3 = 420 calories/day... not that far off from the hot chocolate. And... in many ways... I HAD reduced my sugar consumption... 43 g of sugar in one grande hot chocolate... versus 39 g of sugar in ONE can of Coke. Three cans of Coke would be an insane amount of sugar...

Anyhow... before I try to justify hot chocolate as being "better" than Coke... back to my story. The cost of Starbucks hot chocolate got me thinking on ways to reduce my overhead. I tried buying the mix-your-own packets of Starbucks hot chocolate from the grocery store... and having them at home. But, because it was so convenient... I'd sometimes end up having two mugs a day. Not a solution. I tried making my own hot chocolate using cocoa powder, milk and sugar. At least I could moderate the amount of sugar, 1 tbsp instead of 2 tbsp in each mug. But... that was still a lot of sugar. I was seemingly powerless in the grip of sugar... until last February.

Hot Chocolate's D-Day
On 3 February 2019, my father passed away in a long-term care home. It was a stressful, grief-laden time. Two weeks later, after visiting Starbucks and having a hot chocolate... I said "Enough is enough." I had been reading about different ways to alter ingrained habits and came across the idea of a reverse-reward... i.e. a penalty system. You make a commitment to change a habit and every time you do not honour that commitment, you have to pay a penalty that hurts. Like donating to the political party that you hate. That wasn't going to work for me as I wasn't that passionate about politics but... I liked the idea of a penalty.

The implacable reality of cold hard cash

I sat down with my partner and explained my plan. Every time I had a hot chocolate, I would have to put $5 into a penalty fund. She thought it was a good idea and upped the ante. "Fine, but that money goes to me. And that's only for the first hot chocolate. After that, the penalty doubles to $10... and after that, it doubles again to $20." Ooooohhhh... that's wicked! I put the $5 into the penalty pot that day, to cover the hot chocolate I'd had that morning. Game on.

We also started tracking my progress on the wall calendar. For every successful hot-chocolate-free day, I got a little animal sticker on that day (nod to the badges of www.750words.com). I started off with ladybug stickers and, after 30 days, progressed to owl stickers. After 60 days I got cat stickers... and at 100 days I graduated to teddy bear stickers. My tracking app says I have 353 days under my belt. Only 12 days to go...

The start of my Hot Chocolate Free
odyssey (check marks are good!)

Was it easy? Heck, NO! It's been one of the hardest things I've ever done - even harder than the Coke addiction. Once I made it past my previous record of 21 days hot-chocolate-free, though, I felt a bit more confident. It also got slightly easier after 60 days. I had some momentum and didn't want to break the chain (nod to Jerry Seinfeld). But there were many days where the only thing that held me in check was that looming $10 penalty. Truth is... I still crave hot chocolate. I'm sitting here in Starbucks right now, sipping a chai tea with milk (just a tea... not a chai tea latte). It is... palatable... but that's about it. I've tried every tea in their arsenal and... this one is the best of a bad lot... sigh.

Sooo... remember the sugar/grains detox my partner and I started in September 2019? Well... I am so glad I got the hot chocolate addiction handled months earlier. My fasting blood sugar levels are OK... and I feel better without all that sugar coursing through my system. I even lost a bit of weight after the hot chocolate taps were turned off. Best news of all... I didn't replace that liquid sugar supply with another one. I'm not a root beer addict... or a caramel macchiato addict. I don't dump packets and sugar/sweetener into my tea. I do, however, notice a weakness for chocolate... particularly if it is in the house. So... I try not to keep it in the house.

As I come up to my one year anniversary of being Hot Chocolate Free... I find myself having a little internal debate. "Maybe I could just have one on the anniversary date. Just one. And then I could start the abstinence anew." It's interesting to observe this conversation going on in my head, because it never happened with Coke. I think the hot chocolate has deeper roots... and it is hanging on for dear life...

As I said... I've learned a few things in my life... moderation for my sugar addiction does NOT work. I need to go cold turkey and abstain completely. But that's only for sugar... I have no problem moderating alcohol intake and can have a beer or not... no problem. But sugar... it's got me in its grip.

Every day, therefore, is a choice. Sometimes every hour! Just one small step towards health. And 353 daily small steps later... I've come a long way. Will I cave and have a hot chocolate on February 18? Stay tuned...

I'm kind of curious though... how have other people altered deeply ingrained habits? How did you give up smoking or sugar or alcohol or video games? What worked for you?

P.S.
I'll also look at the environmental impact of sugar plantations in a future blog post...

Suffice to say, reducing our sugar consumption would definitely be better for our health as well as that of the planet!

The Belt Never Lies

One Belt Hole = 10 lbs

Belt hole #1 - first time in twenty years

For years, I have suffered from belt hole creep. I have one black leather belt that is my go-to belt. I wear it everywhere and all the time. Over the years, I've learned that the belt never lies.

The belt is 40 inches long and has five oval-shaped holes in it. Looking at it now... it tells quite a tale about my health and wellness. When I bought the belt 20 years ago, I was using belt hole #2, the second tightest belt hole. That equates to about 160 lbs. It also gave me one belt hole for slimming down and three belt holes for expanding. Hmmm... was I in a pessimistic mood when I bought this belt? A lot of room for expansion but not much for contraction?

My belt

You can see though, that belt hole #2 is very well-used and stretched out. As I slowly put on weight, I'd keep trying to stay in belt hole #2... even if it got a bit tight... and a muffin-top formed.

Eventually though... I'd have to cave and resort to belt hole #3. Ahh... that always felt better - I've got space to breathe again! That would usually happen at the 170 lb mark. But then... the weight would keep creeping up... and soon... I'd be at 175 lbs and forming a # 3 Muffin Top. I was also facing a seismic shift from a Size 14/34 to a Size 16/36 in pants... incomprehensible. At that point, I'd go into panic mode and drastically cut something out of my diet... usually Hawkins Cheezies and chocolate. Or I'd buckle down and start riding my bike, go for strenuous hikes, walk every day, etc.

It would work... I'd slowly retreat to a straight up #3 belt hole waistline and even maybe make it back to #2 Muffin Top. Whew...

And that's been my cycle for the last twenty years or so... gain some pounds, lose some pounds... gain some... lose some. I've been pretty steady-state for the last ten years, fluctuating between 165 and 175 lbs pretty regularly

2015 BMI data for Canadians

Becoming a Statistic
The last few years though... I've been more in the 170 to 175 range. Which is not good. In fact... it's very bad. At 175 lbs, I've become an obesity statistic:

175 lbs - BMI 30 - that's the beginning of the obesity range

170 lbs - BMI 29.2 - overweight but not obese (still a statistic)

Wait, what? I'm not obese. No way, no how. Talk to some of my male work colleagues (back me up here, guys), and they'd likely never guess my weight. I hide it well. I hold it well. And I could easily convince myself that I am big boned... that's why I weigh more. Or maybe it's cause I am muscular... and muscle weighs more than fat, right? I know the BMI index has its issues. It doesn't, for example, distinguish between fat content and muscle but it's easy to measure...

It's just a number. But it's a freakin' scary number. Coupled with a high LDL and Total Cholesterol blood test in September... and I realized that I was facing a decision point. I could keep doing what I had always done... and keep creeping upwards, further into the obesity range, or I could make some changes. I ain't gettin' no younger and after the age of 50... I don't know that one can eat Cheezies and chocolate with the same impunity as when one is 20...

Have you ever played with the BMI calculators online? They are seriously scary... and eye-opening. Sooo... given my height... at what point would I creep back into the "normal" range (under BMI 25)... let's run some numbers:

165 lbs - BMI 28.3 - eesh
160 lbs - BMI 27.5 - so much for belt hole #2... sigh...
155 lbs - BMI 26.6 - good grief... still NOT there?
150 lbs - BMI 25.7 - the last time I was 150 was in 1993! WTF... belt hole #1
145 lbs - BMI 24.9 - thank goodness... but I'll need a new belt (or a new belt hole)

That is seriously depressing. How did I not know this? I know, I know... it's easy to lose sight of the numbers... to justify the weight gain... to be comfortable with the new status quo... to say the BMI Index is the problem...

Making some Changes
But... all is not lost. In September, my partner and I made a few small adjustments to our dietary plan.

In early September, we adjusted the timing/order of our eating: regular breakfast, largest meal at lunch, small meal at dinner, no snacking between meals (we didn't even want to) and no eating for four hours before bedtime (no eating after 6:30 pm). That made a huge difference (more on that in another blog post).

In late September, we went on an 8 week detox and eliminated all sugar/sweeteners and grains from our diet. The first week was hard but after that, it got easier. My energy improved... and my belt holes started showing the change... as did the weigh scale.

I was about 170 lbs in early September... and in belt hole #3. Soon enough, I was 165, back into belt hole #2. And then I was 160 lbs... with no #2 Muffin Top. I haven't been in the 150s for years... but in early December... I crept into the 150s. High fives all around! And I got to flirt with belt hole #1... still too much of a muffin top though...

Not me... but you get the idea,
saggy, baggy pants

The other big thing was... my size 14 (34) pants were all getting way too big. I had to go shopping at Value Village for new pants... in size 12 (32). I haven't worn size 12 for decades, but even I had to admit... the size 14 (34) pants were looking hideous on me. I looked like some of those kids who have their pants hanging have-way down their butts, and their pants crotch is heading for their knees. Not a good look for me.

Today, I'm 154 lbs and just snuck into belt hole #1... it's a bit tight but... the belt never lies. And... people are noticing. One friend saw me before Christmas and remarked: "Wow!! You look great! You've lost weight and your energy is amazing!" Huh... go figure!

The detox ended before Christmas and we eased back into a more "normal" eating pattern with a few long-term changes. We are also not jumping back on the sugar band-wagon. Sugar is insanely addictive and bad for the human body. We are also continuing to limit refined grains (flours, breads, etc) since processed foods in general are not good. Whole grains, however, are making a comeback (more on that in a later blog post). We are also, most definitely, sticking with the altered meal schedule. If I had to point to ONE thing that has made the biggest difference for us... it would be the changes we made to the timing/order of our meals. Our bodies run on a circadian rhythm and do best when our eating supports that... stay tuned for more info in a future blog post...

Luscious warmed-up double chocolate chunk fudge brownie
(Starbucks)

For now... I will say this... I made it through Christmas without a huge binge on sweets - no Toffifee or Ferrero Rocher or Lindt balls for me. Our finance guys gave us a huge box of truffle chocolates for Christmas and I turned around and re-gifted it to my sister (sorry Pam!).

I did, however, indulge in a warmed-up Starbucks double chocolate chunk fudge brownie on my birthday (over the holidays). Just one. Just to see. The resulting sugar buzz/vibration/anxiety/crash was astonishing and very, very unpleasant. There is no going back...

Over the last six months, we have taken a number of Small Steps towards better health, and they have added up quickly:

• make lunch the biggest meal and dinner the smallest
• no snacking between meals
• no eating four hours before bedtime (6:30 pm) 
• no sugar/sweeteners (that includes any of those fake sugars... as well as honey/stevia etc)
• no refined grains

I find myself with more energy and less weight. I might not always see it on the weigh scale... but the belt never lies.

BMI P.S.
If I really want to up my game, and I might, I should be aiming for a mid-normal BMI range (BMI 22). That would be 130 lbs. I haven't weighed that little since high school. I don't know that I will make it there but... stranger things have happened. Stay tuned...