Sunday 11 June 2023

I Now Know How Long I can Run on a Fully Charged Internal Battery

Soooo... those who follow this blog know that I have been struggling sometimes with my internal battery. I'll go gang-busters and then crash when I run out of oomph. My emotions go in the toilet, my productivity falls off a cliff, I get completely overwhelmed and I wander around morosely in the Swamp of Confusion and Exhaustion.

I eventually find my way out of there by realizing that I need to put self-care first... not my work, not the Airbnb, not anything else.

So I'll start walking in the mornings and meditating and journaling and writing this blog. After a few weeks... everything is tickety-boo and I am happily motoring along again.

But then... I get cocky and I think... I'm doing soooo good!! I'll just start doing other stuff in the mornings and get caught up on this and caught up on that. So I'll drop the journaling (just for a "while"). I'll skip the blogging (just for "a day" or so). You know how it goes.

And things do continue tickety-boodle... I am feeling uber productive... getting tonnes of stuff done and feeling burbly and bubbly and then... slowly... that feeling starts dissipating. And I'll end up back in the Swamp of Confusion and Exhaustion.

Rinse. Repeat.

Sooo.. in the latest iteration of this... here's what I noticed.

I'm writing this on May 25... and I would say my battery is at maybe 5%. I noticed the drained feeling at least a week ago... let's say May10-14. I started thinking... hmmm... it's been a while since I journaled or wrote a blog... But I let it slide because I was still feeling pretty good. Just a mild bit of overwhelm... nothing to worry about. Yeah. Whatever. Anyhow, I would say my battery back then was maybe 20%?

Yesterday I had a look in my journal and my task tracker and it seems that April 10 was the last day I journaled or blogged. Not sure what happened after that but... there are a few sporadic journal pages but definitely not the regular journaling and definitely no blogging.

Sooo... with a full battery on April 10, I could run along happily for about a month before I started noticing I was getting low. I then ignored that early warning indicator and continued on my merry way for another 10-14 days... until yesterday when I realized... this is NOT good. So, 6 weeks before I crash.

Low Battery Indicator

You know how your laptop or phone sends out low battery warnings? It usually seems to happen when it's gotten to the critical point - like 5-7% battery remaining.

You need to drop everything you're doing and find the charging cord NOW and plug into an outlet. It's most annoying when you're traveling and electrical outlets are in short supply... like the airport!

It'd be nice if the devices would give us a notice at 25% and 10%, etc. Although... we'd probably just ignore it. "It's not critical... I've still got time."

But the older the device gets... and the older its battery gets... the quicker it will drain. My new laptop or phone could hold a charge forever! Now... I can't even get through one day before my phone screen is dimming at 5% battery left. What the heck? 

Maybe we're like that too? When we're young... we could hold a charge forever. It seemed like we just ran on air and sunshine and play and a bit of food. There was no talk of the Swamp of Confusion and Exhaustion (and overwhelm). But as we get older... that battery starts going funny on us. We need to recharge more often, with intentional things like journaling and nature and exercise or whatever it is that jazzes us up. It becomes non-negotiable... otherwise, we are just bopping around at 5-10% battery and never really getting to a full charge.

So... what's the lesson in all this for me? I can't ignore the 25% low battery warning. I have a better sense of what it feels like... and what I need to do about it. I'm hoping that I've recognized the 5% battery warning early enough that I can come out of this nose dive.

I did some journaling today. I'm writing a blog. I'll get out into the garden. I'll need to do this for several days... maybe even several weeks to really build up that internal battery charge.

And then? Well... I don't think I need to plug in for a full charge every day... maybe every second day? It's obvious that if my battery is fully charged, I can run for several weeks off of that. Not that I want to. So maybe journaling every day and blogging every second to third day? And an adventure hike every second or third day too?

I wish we had an indicator light for our internal battery. But we don't. So maybe I need to do a check-in every day. I need to do an internal assessment and ask the questions.. how am I doing? what's my battery feel like? how much do I need to re-charge? what could I do to re-charge?

It would be nice if I could actually learn this Life Lesson finally! And make a change in life that sticks and not keeping wandering mindlessly into the Swamp of Confusion and Exhaustion (and overwhelm).

No comments:

Post a Comment