The Art of Prioritization: Differentiating 'Nice to' from 'Need to'

We have a very large rhubarb plant that has a LOT of juicy, red stalks that are just begging to be harvested. But as the days go by... "make rhubarb relish" keeps getting bumped to the end of the line. There's too much other stuff going on.

But as the days go by, I start to get a bit panicky... "need to" get the rhubarb picked and chopped and make rhubarb relish! But then... I had a bit of an epiphany...

Why do I "need to" make rhubarb relish?

Who says I "need to"???

That made me pause for quite a while. And think. And mull things over. Because, really, making rhubarb relish is not a "need to". It is a "nice to". It would be "nice to" make rhubarb relish. It's not like we are selling it and our lives depended on it. There is no one standing over me demanding that I make rhubarb relish, "or else".

So where does it go from being a "nice to" thing... into a "need to" thing? Here are some of the factors at play.

1. Time Limited

Rhubarb season is limited. Pick it early and it is sweeter and not as tough. I always thought you had to pick it before it flowered but... that's an old wives' tale. You can just cut the flower stalk off. So there is a tiny bit of a time constraint. If I want to make rhubarb relish, then it has to be done soonish. But do I want to make rhubarb relish?

2. Friends Love it

Friends of ours LOVE the rhubarb relish that we make. We give them little jars of it every time they visit. And our supply is running low. So it is time to make more. But again, they are not standing over us demanding rhubarb relish. It is "nice to" give them rhubarb relish but if we are out... then we are out.

3. It's a Waste

Leaving the rhubarb relish stalks on the plant seems like... a waste. We are letting food go to waste. And somewhere along the way I learned that letting food go to waste is "bad". It's a sin. Although I don't remember seeing "food" in the list of deadly sins. Although it could probably be shoe-horned into gluttony or greed.

4. I had Plans

I was going to use the rhubarb-making pics for our Airbnb's social media campaign. No pics... no post. But it's only 1 post. Not the end of the world, right? But I had plans!!! And I hate it when plans change.

5. It's a Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

As in... "It would be nice to make it..." morphs into... "I could make it..." so that translates into... "I should make it"... which leads to... "I need to make it"...

It's Bigger than Rhubarb

While this might seem like a pretty piddly thing... it's rhubarb for pete's sake...

But it's not just about the rhubarb. Because this happens in other areas of my life as well. Where I decided that something would be "nice to" do... Somewhere along the way, these "nice to" things get pressurized. I only have so much time. I only have so much energy. I can't do it all. But as time and energy fritter away... the pressure to get these things done increases. Or... I could just let them go. I don't need to make rhubarb relish. I could just let it go. I could say. "I really wanted to make it. But things change. And, right now, I don't want to make it anymore."

Because there are a LOT of things in life that are "nice to's". So many, many things. And some of them become "need to's"... but they can't ALL become "need to's". There is a finite limit to how much time and energy I have to devote to things. Saying "yes" to this thing means I have to say "no" to these other things.

So, rather than making rhubarb relish this year... I need to procrastinate on it (good procrastination) and bump it into next year. I made different choices this year as to what to do with my time. I didn't pick rhubarb. I was away part of the time. I did broombusting for another part of the time. Those choices are not wrong or bad. And I need to keep reminding myself... I can't do it all. I can't visit my Mom, do broombusting AND handle rhubarb. And I don't have to. Don't need to.

Sometimes I just have to say "no".