What Does Menopausal Self-Care even Look Like?

It's official, I've hit menopause. Sigh. I know this time of change is supposed to be amazing... or something... but it sure doesn't feel like it!

Hitting puberty, people would say, "Oh, you're a woman now." Yay.

Hitting menopause, what do people say?? "Oh, you're an elder now." I haven't heard that yet. "Welcome to the crone years." Haven't heard that either. "Welcome to the wise years." Nope... not that one either.

I'm not sure what the next years are going to bring but after watching my partner sweat through hot flashes for the last 10 or more years... I'm not holding my breath.

I'm moody, cranky, emotional, tired, exhausted and just plain out of sorts. Some days I feel more like me... other days I feel like a soggy limp dishrag with no "oomph" left for anything. I am resisting my to-do list with a fierceness that surprises me.

My partner tells me that I need to learn how to practice self-care. The menopause resources all say the same thing. I need shift from taking care of others (and everything else) to taking care of me. And... to be completely honest... I have no idea what that means. Bubble baths? Me time?

I do know a few things though. I need (like... "need") to get out in the woods at last once a week... and at this point, I would say more like two or three times a week. Just me and the woods. Because the other thing I've noticed is that this little introvert needs time away from the house. With both of us more or less cooped up together, I don't have as much alone time as before. I used to go to Starbucks for a few hours every morning for some alone time... just me and my laptop and my ear-buds... in a crowd. But... go figure... that counted as alone time.

So there's probably a few things colliding here... menopause, pandemic fatigue and a over-stimulated introvert. And yet... the perfectionist in me thinks I should still be able to race around like the energizer bunny, despite the fact that there are a lot of external and internal events that are draining little bunny. Drained battery on the me-time front... wonky hormones that are sending me on a Tilt-a-Whirl/Roller-Coaster madness... and just general tiredness from the pandemic.

Sooo... self-care... what is this critter? What does it even mean or look like? Well... here's what it looked like today...

I know that my triglycerides are a bit high. The best way to lower them is through... exercise... which is on all of the menopausal self-care lists I've looked at. I have been a bit lax on the exercise front during the winter but today, I plugged in an Amy Schumer audiobook and plodded up the Beast Hill and then extended that to a 45 minute walk. I then sat down, journalled for a bit and decided to go to Walmart for a new watch strap. My Garmin fitness tracker/watch strap has been irritating my skin of late so I have not been wearing it for the last 4 weeks. I've been meaning to run over to Walmart and get a new leather strap for the last month... but it always gets shoved aside for other errands. OK... enough of that... today I drove to Walmart, got the watch strap and two jars of my favourite pickles (no, not pregnant) and a new card game for my partner and I to play during our TV-free evenings. Done. I can now strap on my fitness tracker and at least get a handle on how many steps/intensity minutes I am doing in a day and set some goals.

This trip to Walmart felt kind of decadent... instead of sitting down and writing first thing in the morning... I headed off to Walmart for a watch strap. Pre-menopausal me would have judged this to be a frivolous trip, better tied into Friday morning's weekly shopping trip. But... four Fridays have come and gone and yet... I have failed to manage to squeeze in the Walmart errand. Enough of that I thought... 

Sooo... that's what self-care looked like for me this morning. I'm not sure what the rest of the day will bring... maybe clearing out the shed so I can dig out my bicycle in order to do some small rides (5 minutes or less) in order to acclimatize my butt to the bike seat.

I'm not really used to this idea of putting me first... it seems a tad selfish or self-centred or... self-something. But I am starting to consider the possibility that this is just a concrete example of me putting on my own mask first and then being able to tend to everything else. It's a bit of a learning curve and I'm not very good at it right now but... with some small steps, I'm hoping that I can master this... or should I say mistress this...