A Different Type of Advent Calendar

I loved Advent calendars as a kid. I loved finding each little numbered door and then opening it. Sometimes we'd even get chocolate calendars!! Those were, of course, the best.

At some point, we received a home-made advent calendar from one of my aunts. It was a large dark blue burlap wall hanging that had 24 Heinzelmännchen (German gnome), made from felt, dancing across the starry night.

Each little guy had a small felt sack that hung from his back. Of course, the sack was filled with chocolate but... given that it was small, my sister and I usually only got one foil-wrapped chocolate ball each... or an icy chocolate.

When we left home, my sister got the Heinzelmännchen Advent calendar and I... I turned around and made a copy of it! So we each have one. And yes... it still gets hung up on the wall in late November and it still magically fills with chocolates! Ususally... sometimes I have to remind the Powers-that-Be that the Advent calendar needs tending...

An Advent Devoid of Meaning

But, as we prepare for Christmas this year, I feel... empty somehow. Surely there is a more "meaningful" Advent calendar out there? I know you can buy ones that have cheese, tea, jams, and all sorts of consumables in them (even beer!). But, to be honest, it all seems so... self-serving? Surely there is some other method of celebrating the lead-up to Christmas?

And yes, this is what happens when you are raised as as Catholic, where Advent and Christmas are rich with tradition and transcendent meaning. As a child, we'd sit down with Mom every evening and light the Advent wreath and then sing German Advent songs (religious ones of course).

But when you walk away from Catholicism, you eventually find yourself in a vast, commercialized desert where capitalism reigns as king, and Advent and Christmas become this frenetic race to buy gifts and decorate and buy more gifts and... as Shakespeare says...  the malls are "full of sound and fury... Signifying nothing..."

We don't have kids and you can only give your cat so may catnip toys before it all seems... empty.

So I roamed the internet searching for alternatives. I even asked ChatGPT AI what I could do instead... and it actually came up with some good ideas! So, obviously, if ChatGPT has answers at its fingertips... it's not just me who feels this way!

The idea that grabbed me first was... Advent Calendars of Kindness... and I ran with that! Most of the ones I found were for kids... but there are also some adult ideas... And they don't have to cost the world either...

Ideas for Advent Calendar of Kindness

1. $$ Donate food (or money) to a food bank - just add some extra canned food to your shopping cart and leave it in the bin at the store.
2. $$ Leave an extra big tip at a restaurant or coffee shop - with app payments, I always get asked if I want to leave a tip for the Starbucks baristas... I never do... but I could do a cumulative one!
3. Knit a scarf for someone who is homeless or in a shelter - I don't knit... but I could donate excess mitts/scarves/toques to a shelter
4. Do a major purge and donate all the items that are in good shape - do this ongoingly, but we could maybe donate Christmas decorations!
5. $$ Adopt a child to buy gifts for at Christmas - our city has an annual toy drive for Christmas
6. $$ Pay for the person behind you at the coffee shop - this is an interesting one and I'm not sure how it works because how do you know what they are buying? Unless you are in a drive-through... and then the staff already know what the next person's order is! Could be $$$$... Or you could just say... put $10 towards their order!
7. $$ Buy a few scratch & win lottery tickets and place them on random windshields at the grocery store. This is an intriguing idea!
8. Sign up as an Organ Donor - takes two minutes!
9. Pay attention on garbage day and when you hear the truck coming... run out and give the garbage guy a treat and a thank you card - I just made this one up...
10. Set a box outside the house with drinks and pre-packaged snacks for the mailman, UPS guy, and FedEx guy.  With all the packages they deliver throughout December, they’ll appreciate the small token of gratitude - ours would get soaked by rain but maybe this works for others
11. Donate blood - excellent idea!!
12. Do you have small businesses that you frequently visit?  Leave them a great review on Facebook or Yelp - or on Google Reviews!
13. Tape candy canes and happy notes in random places - definitely possible... but who eats candy cans anymore??
14. $$ Send a surprise present in the mail to someone who wasn’t expecting it - I like this idea too!
15. Make a freezer meal dinner for a new mom or a stressed out friend - also possible
16. Ask to speak to a manager at a restaurant or store – and give a giant compliment about the store and/or one of the employees.  So often people only speak to a manager to complain, so going out of your way to compliment the store or employees is unexpected and awesome - very doable!!
17. Write down a Gratitude list of things that you are grateful for...
18. Pick up trash in your neighbourhood - I used to do this but it's easy to grab a plastic bag and wander around with some gloves and pick up garbage
19. Write a compliment card - for friends, family, colleagues, neighbours, or a local business or charity or dentist/doctor/pharmacist or... **gasp**... politician - and deliver them throughout the month - or mail them
20. Volunteer at a local food bank or shelter - one year there was a Christmas dinner hosted by a local charity and we volunteered for it - we got to wash dishes all evening. It was amazing! Seriously.
21. $$ Collect spare change during the month and donate to a local shelter - we don't use cash as much anymore but it might work for some folks
22. Spend time chatting and playing games with seniors at a local senior center.
23. Share inspiring stories, quotes or articles on social media to uplift others.
24. Create a playlist of your favorite songs and share it with a friend or on social media.
25. Leave a kind and supportive comment on someone's social media post. Not just a "thumbs-up"...
26. Offer to babysit for a friend or family member who could use a break.
27. Gather pet supplies like food, toys, or towels and blankets and donate them to an animal shelter or rescue organization.
28. $$ Contribute to a Kickstarter or Crowdfunding campaign for a creative project you believe in. On GoFundMe - you can scroll down and find categories
29. Sign a petition for something you believe in - you can find some on Change.org
30. Buy a tangible item for someone in a Third-World country - e.g. a goat or a flock of chickens or a well - https://plancanada.ca/
31. $$ Leave change taped to vending machine
32. Offer to pet-sit for a friend or neighbor when they're away.
33. Insert a positive or inspirational sticky note inside a library book for the next reader - use a sticky note otherwise it might get lost...
34. Recommend inspiring podcasts to friends on social media or start a virtual listening club.
35. Start a virtual book club with friends or join an existing one.
36. Donate books to a Little Library if there are some in your neighbourhood.
37. Donate books or puzzles to your local library - some libraries now lend out puzzles!
38. Write a card and mail it to someone you haven't heard from in a while.
39. Write an anonymous card to someone that you have parted ways with - expressing gratitude for who they are - don't sign it
40. Donate toiletries to a local shelter - we have scads of those little bottles of hotel shampoo/conditioner/body wash... they would be perfect.
41. Practice some self-care, since kindness isn't just about others. Here are some ideas...

• Take 15 minutes to practice deep breathing and mindfulness.
• Write down three things you're grateful for today.
• Treat yourself to a relaxing bath or shower.
• Go for a nature walk and connect with the outdoors.
• Dedicate time to your favorite hobby or creative activity.
• Enjoy a cup of your favorite tea or coffee mindfully.
• Practice yoga or gentle stretching exercises.
• Read a book or magazine that inspires you.
• Create a list of your strengths and accomplishments.
• Listen to soothing music or a guided meditation.
• Express your feelings through journaling or art.
• Reach out to a friend and have a meaningful conversation.
• Spend time with a beloved pet or animal.
• Disconnect from screens and enjoy a tech-free evening.
• Write down your goals and intentions for the future.
• Cook a nutritious and delicious meal for yourself.
• Practice self-compassion and speak kindly to yourself.
• Organize and declutter a space in your home.
• Engage in a random act of kindness for someone else.
• Watch a heartwarming movie or documentary.
• Get a good night's sleep and prioritize rest.
• Create a vision board of your dreams and aspirations.
• Plan a self-care day with activities you love.
• Practice a hobby or skill that brings you joy.
• Explore a new recipe and cook a homemade meal.
• Write a letter to your future self with positive affirmations.
• Take a break from social media and focus on real-life connections.
• Practice forgiveness and let go of grudges or resentments.
• Spend time in your favorite outdoor spot, whether it's a park or garden.
• Pamper yourself with a DIY spa day.
• Reflect on your achievements and celebrate your successes.
• Donate to a charity or cause you're passionate about.
• Set boundaries and say 'no' to something that drains your energy.
• Try a new relaxation technique, like aromatherapy or meditation.
• Give yourself permission to prioritize self-care without guilt.

Creating an Advent Calendar of Kindness

Right then... I already have my first one planned. I donated blood back in October and the next donation date for me was December 23. At the time, I thought... nope, not doing that day - too close to Christmas).

Yeah. Well... just went online to Canadian Blood Services and booked my appointment for December 23! Done!

I've found a blank calendar template for December 2023 online, and I'm going home to print it. Then I'm going to pick some things off of this list of ideas and write them into each day. It's not fancy. It  doesn't have cutesy little doors but..... ooohhhh... wait!!!

Better idea!!! I'll print them out on little coloured slips of paper and put them in my Heinzlemännchen calendar!!!

Even better!!! Print two sets on coloured paper - one colour for me and one colour for my partner... so that we each get a slip for that day. Yes!!

I'm still going to write them out on a blank calendar because picking up some food for the food bank is a good slip to put on a Friday, when it's grocery day.

And... I think I'll create a Google calendar for this advent calendar as well... here's the link if you want to see what my 2023 Advent Calendar of Kindness looks like...

Are you going to do an Advent Calendar of Kindness??? I'd love to hear your ideas!!!

To Write or Not to Write... Christmas Cards

I am a writer and letter writer from way back. I used to send dozens of  Christmas cards every November/December. And yet, over the years, I have grown ambivalent about Christmas cards.

I love the excitement of finding something in the our mailbox, other than flyers and promo cards. I love seeing who the envelope is from and then opening the envelope.

I am then usually disappointed to find a mostly blank card with just the printed felicitations and then a signature or two. 

Meh. That seems like a lot of effort and money to just send a generic greeting and a signature. Yes, we can put the card up on our card holder and revel in the feeling that people still care about us and love us. But then what?

Recycling Christmas Cards

At the end of the season we don't keep the cards. We toss them in recycling except... we then need to spend some time deciding if the card is recyclable.

If it has any of the following, it is NOT recyclable...

• glitter - sooooo bad for the environment
• sparkles - same thing
• singing/talking battery-powered - battery and plastic housing not recyclable
• shiny foil bits - like the lettering
• ribbons - gotta rip those off and toss them
• jewels and other doodads - rip those off too
• plastic coating - just wrong
• photographic cards - ooohhh... of the family sending the card... those need to be kept!

And let's not even talk about the envelopes... all of the PSAs below make it challenging to recycle paper and can actually contaminate the paper recycling process. PSAs are "pressure sensitive adhesives" and they make the envelopes soooo pretty...

• self-stick address labels
• festive stickers (I'm guilty of this... I LOVE plastering stickers all over the envelope)
• plain old tape - because sometimes the envelope flap glue is not great...

So I sit there every year and assess each Christmas card and their envelopes. I find that, by far, the vast majority are not recyclable. At least not the front cover of the card. I will often tear of the back part and recycle that and then toss the front part in the trash. My rule of thumb for deciding if something is plastic-y is... can I tear the card easily? If not, then it has some plastic baked into it. Paper-anything should tear easily.

But tossing the front of the card just seems... wrong. Such a waste. All the energy that went into making and transporting and buying and sending that card and then... it is used once and just... thrown out?

Reusing Christmas Cards

Would it be horribly horrid if we reused Christmas Cards? If we just cut off the back part and then wrote a new felicitation on the inner side of the front cover? So a Christmas post card? Or is that chintzy and cheap? Or thrifty and eco-friendly? Of course, if people wrote longer greetings on the inside cover... that would preclude this idea!

There was a day when I had grand schemes to reuse Christmas cards (the front cover) in new and creative ways. Like...

• Cut them into a circle and use them as a mason jar topper if we gift garden preserves
• Glue the front of an old card to a piece of folded card stock to make a new card
• Write a recipe on the reverse and include when you send packages, parcels or gifts
• Cut them into gift tags (that way you don't have to buy gift tags)

But those dreams of being a creative wizard, worthy of Pinterest fame have evaporated in the reality of life. Time to let those dreams of future me go! Although... some of those ideas seem really easy... like the jar toppers...

But maybe physical Christmas Cards are going the way of the dinosaur? Maybe it's more 123GreetingCards.com? Digital Christmas Cards? Although I really don't like those either. First, they usually end up in my spam folder and I'm never quite sure if they are legit... so I might err on the side of caution and just delete them, sight unseen.

So fear not... physical Christmas cards are still a "thing"... you just have to walk into any store to see boxes and boxes of fresh, crisp, shiny, glitzy Christmas cards.

During Covid, Christmas card sending went up over 144%! That's a LOT of Christmas cards! I can't say we were part of that. We kind of gave up on writing Christmas cards a few years back. It just seemed soooo... pointless and capitalist...

Capitalist Cards

Go out and buy a new box of cards? Nope. We gave up on that years ago. When we do send cards, we go to the thrift store and grab whatever we can find there. Are they stylish? Probably not. But they are cheap. They are second-hand. And they are mostly simple cards made of paper. (Pssst... we do the same for birthday cards... no way are we paying $7 for a new card!)

Then we have to figure out who we are sending the cards to and decide which type of card to send to each person. Some folks really appreciate the religious cards (Hi, Mom!) and some don't appreciate a hint of religiosity in their mailbox.

Then we get to write their addresses on the envelope, which causes us to wonder... have they moved this past year? Is this even the right address? Heck... do we even have a physical mailing address for them? We just have a street address but no postal code so need to spend time on Canada Post figuring that out.

Then it's off to the post office to buy stamps and mail the cards. Have you seen the cost of postage??? And the line-ups at the post office? Ugh! (I sound a bit Grinchy right now... don't I?)

We'd go to all the effort and send out 40 cards, and would receive less than half of that in return. Sometimes only 10. Meh... thinking of the money (purchase price, stamps) and the environmental impact (unrecyclable cards) and the time (writing the cards and then deciding if they are recyclable)... it just seems a bit pointless. An empty gesture signifying what... cultural norms? The "done" thing? But whyyyyy???? 

Family Newsletters

On the other hand... some cards include a family news sheet of the past year. We LOVE reading those!! That brings smiles and joy and laughter and connection.

We generally send ours via email though. Guess we are cheap. We don't want to print 40 of those on the colour printer (or at Staples) and have to do the whole Christmas card thing...

Those family newsletters are also much harder to let go!

We've fallen off the Christmas newsletter bandwagon the last few years. Will this be the year that we get back on it? Time will tell... But look for it in your email Inbox in early December... maybe mid-December... Maybe this blog will jump-start our newsletter writing.

I do have to say... I still tend to send physical Christmas cards to our elderly relatives, the ones who don't have ready access to email. I'll write some news inside the cards as well... none of this "Christmas card with just a signature"... I really don't see the point of those... But maybe that's just me???

An Alternative

Maybe we could try this instead... Think of the elderly, the single, the grieving in your network. Maybe it's that old lady in the little house down the street. The one that you see toddling along on her daily walk to the corner store. What if you figured out her postal address and sent her a card... with a personal greeting.

Maybe it's the single person up the block who keeps their yard so neat and tidy and has done a tonne of improvements over the last year. Send a card thanking them for all that they have done to beautify the neighbourhood.

For years, I drove by a house on the way to my local Starbucks. I always thought it was a very well-maintained house. Such a neat garden and well-maintained. I never saw anyone there, just the one car in the carport. I thought about writing an anonymous post card just thanking them for their presence. And then I saw the occasional second car in the driveway and I thought... "they are getting home support" I should really write that card." I never did.

Too late to send that card...

And then this past year, there was a For-Sale sign on the property. Now it's sold and... did the people move into a care home? Did they die? I don't know. But I never sent that card and that sits with me.

So... this year... we'll be trading writing "signature cards" for sending cards to... other folks. Call it Random Acts of Christmas Card Kindness...

Falling Off the Wagon: How to Bounce Back After a Sugar Slip-Up

Well, I lasted about 10 days sugar-free before caving in the face of a vegan dark chocolate truffle cake. My partner and I took my niece on a spa getaway and... we had 3 charcuterie boards, one of which was a dessert board. I could pass on the cheesecake with ease... and the poached pear... but the truffle cake? Nope. I was a goner.

But hey... it's just one blip, right? Well, 3 days later, they wanted to get DQ for themselves and I drove my niece there... and caved in the face of a Peanut Buster Parfait.

That same evening, after I dropped off the niece at the ferry... I stopped at the grocery store to get a RitterSport bar.

So... what does this tell me? Well... once the door opens a crack... you either gotta slam it shut or... the floodgates open!!

The other thing I learned... or relearned... is that it is really, really hard to maintain an eating plan (sugar-free) when you are surrounded by people who are happily munching away on sugary treats. That requires a level of self-discipline and will-power that... just... is beyond me. 

And yes... I did make it 10 days. And no... this doesn't have to derail me. Although it does feel a bit like I am derailed. I need to remind myself of "why" I am staying away from the sugar... because it is poison to my body. It generates inflammation which is toxic for Hashimoto's syndrome. I just find it really hard to remember the why when I am staring the menu in DQ and wondering... why do they both get treats and I am left to munch on almonds?

Maybe if I saw the sugary concoctions as harmfully poisonous to my body, I might have a different relationship to sugar. For example, I have never been tempted to smoke, either regular cigarettes or marijuana. Why? Because I like my brain cells and want to keep them sharp. It's glaringly obvious to me that smoking, of any sort, is seriously bad for one's health. Sooooo... no temptation there. Not even when people seem to be relaxed and having fun from smoking whatever.

Now, to just shift that mode to sugar... its effects are similar to a drug... so can I treat it the same way? See it for what it is? A substance that is harmful to my well-being? Perhaps that would work. But I'd really have to modify and work against 50+ years of conditioning which tells me that sugar is a reward for being good... or doing good things... or a treat for celebrations.

But I see the shape of the wolf in sheep's clothing... most times. Can I just keep my focus on that when faced with chocolate truffles and ice cream? Fingers crossed... 

Virtual Camino Finish Line!

I finished the virtual Camino!!! On November 9, I crossed the finish line and promptly burst into tears.

I know it's not the "real" Camino de Santiago but... for the last 9 and a half months, I've been inching along. A kilometre here, 5 kilometres there... some days no kilometres. Would I ever be done??

But I made it. Maybe one day I'll do the "real" one. Maybe not. For now, I will rest on these laurels...

I averaged 2.67 km for every day of this Camino. Which doesn't really tell the tale. Some days I did 7 km and other days I did 0 km. I lost focus in the spring.

The distance was too long and it seemed to take forever. I got distracted and lost my "oomph". The last few months though, I've found my "oomph" and have been doing well.

I have to admit that there were days where I would forget my smart watch at home, on the charger, and be completely miffed that I couldn't record the distance walked!

And now... I wait for my medal to arrive in the mail. I am easily motivated by any little reward... gold stickers... virtual levels... and a real medal? Well, let's go for it.

The Conqueror Challenges were a bit of a "thing" during Covid, when everyone was stuck at home and treadmill use soared. Can't travel the world? No problem... take a Conqueror Challenge and see the world virtually. I saw their Facebook ads go by during Covid and thought it was silly.

Until this January, where I was bemoaning the fact that I might never get to do the real Camino. And my partner suggested a virtual one. I don't think she had the Conqueror challenges in mind... but I remembered that they had a Camino one and... it was perfect.

During the challenge, I also "planted" 5 trees at various milestones (20, 40, 60, 80 and 100%). This is through a partnership with Eden Reforestation Projects. They plant trees in various third world countries. I hope my little trees make a difference.

But now what? Well... when I purchased the Camino challenge, I had bought another code to use on a future challenge. After much deliberating... and dithering between two options, I have chosen Hadrian's Wall. It's short - only 145 km or so. I should be able to do that in a month. After what... we'll see...

If I keep up my current pace, I should be done this challenge in a month... The app gives you the option of counting all of your daily steps or just specific activities. It would probably go a lot quicker if I used the step counter option but that seems a bit like cheating... so I'm doing it with specific activities. Onwards!

Jar Etiquette is a Thing - Are you a Skimmer or a Gouger?

When my Dad was struggling with dementia, he received home support services. One of the tasks they helped him with was making him breakfast. He liked to have peanut butter on crisp bread. Which seems fairly innocuous but... after the home support worker had left, Dad phoned me to come down.

They had done something quite horrible, at least for him. He opened up his peanut butter jar and showed me how they had gouged the peanut butter with the knife. They just dug into the peanut butter and the gouges were deeply disturbing to my Dad. He was very much a Skimmer, not a Gouger. He would take his knife and skim the peanut butter surface. Very neat and tidy.

At the time, overwhelmed as I was, I thought this was a very minor issue. But for my Dad, it was major.

Yes. Well... enter the honey pot. 100% Canadian - pure creamed honey. This is the hard honey, not the liquid stuff. And my partner and I both use the honey. It used to be that it was just me who used the honey, for my oatmeal. But then I shifted to berries in my oatmeal and now my partner is the one who is using it more.

The other day, I opened up the honey because we had run out of frozen berries for my oatmeal. And I found this... Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! Quel scandale!!! It's a travesty!! The honey has been... **gasp**... deeply gouged!!

And that was when I realized... I am a Skimmer, not a Gouger. At least not when it comes to creamed honey. See... you take your spoon and you skim the surface, all the way down to the bottom. Although, as you get closer to the bottom, it's hard to get the right angle for skimming but... you get my point.

For me... and this is just for me... skimming is much easier. When you're trying to gouge that deep, the spoon gets stuck in the honey and it's hard to pull it out. Skimming is just easier... and neater and... well... better! Hmph.

Naturally, I skimmed the internet, looking to see if this "Skimmer vs Gouger" was a "thing". And the conclusion is... maybe.

I found this lovely image of a jar of peanut butter gouged all the way to the bottom, but only on half of the jar. Which is just strange until I realized... it was connected to a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon! 

Image from - https://imgur.com/W6O3AcY

You see... it appears that peanut butter (and honey) jar etiquette is a real thing. And when a household shares a jar of peanut butter (or honey), different perspectives and preferences often collide.

The cartoon reads like this:

• Panel 1 - Calvin exclaims in shock "AAUGH! The peanut butter is ruined!!"
• Panel 2 - Calvin grumbles: "You're supposed to scoop one half straight down and then dig out the other side from the bottom. So part of the top remains undisturbed until the very end."
• Panel 3 - Perplexed Mom "What on earth for?"  Calvin on his soapbox: "It's a ritual. You want to keep the top of the peanut butter smooth."
• Panel 4 - Irked Mom: "Maybe you should make your own sandwiches." Philosophical Calvin: "If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. Did you cut the bread diagonally?"

Words of wisdom. Perhaps that's a s simple as it gets. If you can't control your peanut butter (or your honey), how can you ever hope to control your life.

Perhaps that's all we're really trying to do, just control our honey jar, so that we have a semblance of control over something. Although, I will have to check with my partner if the honey gouging is really designed to dig out the one side and then mine out the bottom of the other side. I rather doubt it. I think it was just random gouging. No desire to control life there.

I would agree with Calvin that the top of the honey needs to be smooth... hence my skimming technique!

Is there, however, a deeper philosophical meaning to this. Are Skimmers too shallow? Do we hesitate to sip deeply from the cup of life (or the honey jar of life)? Are Gougers deep thinkers? Do they dive deep into live and just splash around with glee, with no thought to order and neatness? I wonder...

I also wonder... are there other Skimmers or Gougers out there? Or is this just our household? And Calvin's household?